Perks of Not Being a Wife or Mom

The feeling when… when you wake up closer to 30 than 20 and your fridge is covered not just in wedding save the dates, but baby announcements. I’m turning the big 2-8 in a few weeks, and while sometimes it feels like I didn’t get the “we’re grown ups now” memo, other times, the self-indulgent, because-I-can, f*ck yea times, are pretty fantastic.  

When I  splurge on sushi dinners because a) I’m not on a wedding diet b) I’m not saving up for a honeymoon and c) I don’t have to buy diapers. Those times I book impulsive out-of-country flights because I literally have no one I need to consult about finances with.  

The times I have too many glasses of wine and can sleep it off the next morning because only my dog can judge me. When I wander into Nordstrom while my car is getting washed and buy all the clothes because, again, I don’t have to send a little human to college any time soon. Don’t get me wrong, hopefully one of these days I will be joy crying as I announce to you internet friends that I’m engaged or preggo, but as for now? It’s my selfish time to do me.  

I work hard at life despite not maintaining a marriage or family. I make money, I exercise, I cook and sometimes I get burnt out, so I make time for the things I love. The self-care things that keep me from going crazy or dwelling on what I don’t have (sometimes I get impatient—biological clocks are a bitch, am I right?). Things like going to concerts and music festivals, traveling just for funsies, reading (whether it’s the cutest graphic novel of my life or ALL the Audible books), painting my nails, drinking wine and obviously doing all these things with my girlfriends. 

Human connection is one of the most precious things in life, and I haven’t always recognized the true value of it. Since moving to Cali and meeting SO many different people, I’ve come to realize just how important it is to open up, be real and just hang out with other humans. We’re all in this together, and we’re not all on the same path. Not everyone of a certain age needs a ring on their finger or a fetus in their belly. Not everyone needs to work in an office or earn a college degree. But we all do need to make room and time to love ourselves and others.  

I am so grateful for the friends I’ve found all over the country, but especially the ones who make my life infinitely better every day on the West Coast. Oh, and of course that fluffy sausage pup who has been my #1 for seven years now. Isn’t she a model?!