We drove for five days, and despite 23 years of yelling, poking, crying and “no, YOU shut ups” we managed to cross the California state border without any screaming matches. Maybe a huffy silence here or a “ugh, I don’t want to listen to this” there, but overall it was peaceful, fun, exciting and terrifying. I thought it wouldn’t end. How could I stay all the way over here when my sister would be all the way back there?
The mantra I repeated to myself constantly the full year prior, but now I was doing it. It had to happen. There comes a point where you’ve talked about something so many times that if you don’t actually do it, everyone knows you’re a fraud. That’s why I kept talking. I couldn’t and wouldn’t back down. I had a going away party – Official. I wouldn’t let them know the coward inside. I did it even though I was scared.
There were times I tried to run.
“You can’t leave yet,” he said with eight years of SF living under his belt. “No, really. Not yet.”
“Everyone else has benefits. Everyone else is getting paid on the Fourth of July. Everyone else has the opportunity to move up and learn new things.” Comparisons, the little assholes that bruise your psyche and steal your happiness.
JumpingJE
I. Love. You.
kemmy
Lovely Post and very heartfelt.
Sarah :: Plucky in Love
Damn, girl. You *are* a writer. ❤️
Anonymous
<3 <3 <3 I think (hope) you know how much I feel this, all of this. You are not wasting anything. You are being everything you need to right now.
WheresAbby
I haven't been keeping up too much with my own blog or others lately but I'm glad I decided to today! I've been struggling with similar with job plans, benefits, yada yada and the same annoyance of "expectations and wasting my life away," when I mention nannying. I always have it in the back of my mind though. I'm glad you're doing something you love now! And Hawaii looked beyond fantastic! Enjoy! 🙂
Unknown
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Unknown
WOW this is powerful. Please keep doing what you do – you are a rockstar!