About that doll in my purse..

I keep the most random shit. I’m serious. Like, I have a tiny Barbie doll I got in a Happy Meal freshman year of college in my purse. She wears roller skates and knee pads, her name is Shaniqua and right this minute she’s chilling in my bag. I used to bring her out at bars (I still do). She met Jessi in Portland and she made several appearances in Vegas. I can’t explain how it started or why, but I don’t think she’ll ever not be on my person. It’s gone on too long and it makes me laugh too hard to let go.

Then there’s this matching earring/necklace set that has dreamcatchers on it. I mean, I kept it because being an Indian princess is pretty much an everyday goal of mine, but they were gifted to me by my 9th grade “boyfriend” who was only even my “boyfriend” for approximately three days. By that I mean we typed at each other a whole lot on AIM before ever meeting IRL, but we had plans.

Plans to make out in an arcade shooting game, that is. You know, the kind with the curtain. Scandalous, I know. When the time came, I had my giant cup of Pibb Xtra, my distressed converse and the blueberry lipgloss we had discussed beforehand, but instead of making out, we played the game. Then it soon became apparent that he farted. He just let one rip in that tiny little curtain-enclosed space, and it smelled rank. Could you not hold it? (Is it that onion and ketchup?)

Needless to say that make out sesh didn’t happen. And the AIM “taken” status was quickly revoked (~*single and ready to MiNgLe*~).

But I still have those dreamcatcher earrings and necklace, and sometimes I wear them without telling anyone that my gassy 9th grade boyfriend bestowed them upon me. Shaniqua probably wears them sometimes too.

The more you know!