The ones that don’t make it to instagram

You know how those insta-celebs make their lives look like pure perfection on Instagram? The ones you hate to love/love to hate? I, for one, have been curating the crap out of my Insta-life lately, so I have zero room to talk. There’s something seriously addictive about trying to show off the prettiest princess photos you possibly can and looking at them as a whole instead of a gorgeous seascape next to a mutilated fish head (even though these are actually the things I take photos of on a daily basis). For me, it’s more like a portfolio showing off the best of the best instead of trying to trick you guys into thinking I’ve got my shit together (because let’s be real). Someone who just recently started following @mackensieg, however, might just think I spend all my time dancing on beaches and taking off on tropical camping adventures every day of the week.

Those who have been around for a while know this is a new development. It wasn’t long ago when I was posting #sweatyselfies on the reg. It’ll only take a few scrolls to find me in all my glistening, red-faced glory. There used to be something addictive about showing the world how often I work out and cook sriracha dotted dishes, but maybe that had to do with having very few friends near me at any given time. Anyway, the point is I take ugly pictures all the time. I don’t delete them. They sit in my phone and make me lol any time I choose to scroll through them, so here are the pictures that don’t make the Instagram cut, my friends. They may not all be ugly, but most of them make me laugh for some reason or another.

So from left to right, kinda..

I have way too many photos of me freezing in my apartment. It’s not even cold outside but it’s an ice box in here (does anyone remember this song?).

I take a lot of photos of my beverages. I pretty much never post them anywhere so I’m not sure where this compulsion comes from.

There’s the view from my office window that I snuck when no one was looking. I never want people to know about my obsessive documentation, but my mom wants to know what my office is like! Sue me!

My kind of Valentine’s Day card.

Does taking an arm heart photo on the beach at sunset mean I’m losing my edge? Has my early admission to Bad Bitch University been revoked? Because that I am not okay with. Excuse me while I go put on my combat boots and drink whiskey.

Another bevvie. That’s matcha on top.

I burned the crap out of my asparagus.

Oh hi, pretty tree and blurry sausage dog.

#Doyouevenliftbro?

I spilled coffee all over my crotch on the train on the way to work. ALL OVER. I blame Mercury.

Way too excited to see the Dude Baby for the first time in four months. He’s HUGE!!

Speaking of huge: giant artichoke.

Beautiful painted portrait of a precious child.. with a mustache. Classic.

Me doing what I do best: eating brunch hung over.

Hungry hungry fish heads.

Do you guys hoard random photos on your phone too?