I’m moving somewhere in two weeks, so I’ve been navigating the terrifying Craigslist waters and feeling my soul get crushed into a fine powder with every ad I respond to. Naturally this led me to making a list of things that are better than apartment hunting in the San Francisco Bay Area (I imagine it’s slightly less terrifying in other areas where it’s possible to exist without signing away your first born child and any chance of buying groceries each month) because clearly my time is better spent making lists than continuing the search. Oh, boy. Regardless, these are things that are better than finding a apartment:
Locking your keys in the car.
Walking up 20 flights of stairs when you have to pee really bad.
The fluoride treatment at the dentist.
Trying to fix spacing issues in Blogger.
Comcast. (lol, jk)
When the Chick-Fil-A employee forgets to throw your sauce in the bag.
Adult braces.
Drinking Pepto Bismol.
Eating licorice flavored Jelly Bellies.
Hitching a ride with a mustached man in a white van.
Completing the cinnamon challenge.
Sitting in the grass while wearing white shorts.
“Less than 20% battery” before getting on the train.
Math.
Finding something in your teeth that no one told you about all day.
Taking a shot of Jaegermeister.
Smelling someone else’s B.O.
Deleting drunk texts while drunk so you can’t read them in the morning.
Pandora commercials.
Finding spiders in your shower while you’re in it.
Those burps that could go either way.
Changing poopy diapers (the worst kind).
Interviews.
Messing up liquid eyeliner on the last stroke.
Realizing you sent an incriminating text to your mom, not your best friend.
Taking selfies in front of strangers.
Blogging about things that are better than apartment hunting in the Bay.
…Guess I should get back to it.
what about those farts that could go either way? amirite?
I would take all of these over house hunting to try to find a smaller, more affordable house which I will also not be able to afford, which I am currently getting ready to do.
But really Comcast sucks. I dropped their asses. If all else fails I have a place for you to land your pretty little head.
Literally everything is better than apartment hunting. I'm on the search now and even though I have 6 more weeks here the unbridled panic has set in. Strong.
Seriously, this is the best list ever. You win the internets today.
Ironically, there was a spider outside tub this morning when I went to get out of the shower and my roomie just happened to be standing there when I flipped out about being naked and defenseless and she killed it for me. Best roomie ever.
I love you. haha
Good luck Apt hunting. Sorry it's so stressful.