Confessions

This is what I look like when I eat ribs after leaving the bars (some guy told me I was cute right outside of this establishment–joke’s on him!).

I’ve been sweating nonstop for the past week and the term “hot as balls” has rolled off my tongue more times than I’m comfortable with.

Maybe confessions like that one are contributing to my interesting search terms (and rejection from adsense).

Whenever I eat toasted bread or certain cereals it’s like a massacre of the roof of my mouth.

This song makes me wish I were a sassy blonde in cowboy boots. Oh, this one too.

That janky laundry basket I told you guys about just stabbed me in the forehead on the way to the laundry room.

My stomach has been completely destroyed this whole week so far and I have a theory it’s from the green curry I ordered on Monday.

This is my third time eating it despite this theory.

I didn’t watch the US game yesterday at first because I didn’t realize it was on and then because I couldn’t find the channel. I don’t deserve to be American.

The Dude Baby (my nanny babe) decided he’s over naps. Hence why this post is late as fuh.

This might also be contributing to my premature PMS this month. I’ve been eating ALL THE CARBS and I’m pissed at everyone. Yea, even you. Sorry. Blame my ovaries (and the Hokey Pokey).

I’m running a half marathon in four weeks and according to Nike+ the last time I ran was June 19.

I keep forgetting to buy pooper scooper bags for Ziggy, so I either don’t make eye contact with anyone before sprinting away after she goes or I grab random bags from my apartment like the goodie bag I used earlier. Trashman is going to get the worst goodie bag ever.

What are your humpday confessions? Linking up with Kathy.