If I were to list the things I care about in this world, whether it’s because they matter or I just like them a whole lot, The Bachelor/Bachelorette series would be damn near the bottom of the list right next to Publix subs, the Oscars and Nascar. I know this is blasphemy for many of you out there who are doing recaps and fantasy leagues, but there are so many things about it that make me want to vomit into a solo cup.
It’s like everything I hate about dating all rolled up into one big entity that people cannot wait to be a part of. I don’t even like to think about the fact that real life “casually dating” generally includes dating multiple people at once, but the redeeming factors are a) you don’t talk about it and b) you are also dating other people, and this show just knocks those two right out of there. The ladies are not only incredibly aware of all the other women he’s seeing, they’re also meeting and becoming friends with them while not seeing anyone else the entire time! That’s some BS right there.
Then there’s the pressure to get married. I hate that marriage is even such a driving factor in normal relationships, let alone going on a reality show just to find your husband. Not to mention the fact that real life marriage is nothing like the ridiculously contrived romantic situations these contestants are thrown into to induce the feelings of love. Also, do they provide free STD testing after the overnight dates? If not, I’m pretty sure they should.
But hells yea, I’d pretend to be in love with a hot, foreign soccer player if it meant traveling the world while being bombarded with roses and champagne everywhere I go. I’d probably even accept that engagement ring that could’ve easily been handed to 20 something other chicks, at least long enough to enjoy my five minutes of fame and auction it off on eBay. So I get why people go on the show (even if I don’t think it has anything to do with “looking for love”) and considering I just watched a couple episodes all the way through for the first time this morning, I also get why people watch it.
Because even though the show has most of my least favorite parts of dating in it, it also totally captures my favorite part far too well: the exciting, optimistic, full of promise, first kiss, fireworks, omg-I’m-thinking-about-him-all-the-time part. So after watching two ladies pretend they’re in love with this dude, I went on to watch the contestants who have already been deflowered (hehe, see what I did there?) talk about it and confront Juanny boy.
One lady made a very interesting point. She was one of the first to leave the show by choice and she explained that she was immediately physically attracted to the bachelor (duh). All the butterflies and tinglies she felt when they first met and started snogging all the time gave her this grand idea of what they could be — we are all made to believe that he’s a great father, provider and all-around good guy in addition to all the sexiness, so imagine those feelings magnified because he might potentially put a ring on it in a few weeks. From there the bar was set pretty high, so once she started getting to know him better, she was constantly trying to justify their incompatibility because she wanted it to match up with the ideal she created in her mind based off of the initial impression.
This observation made so much sense. I didn’t watch enough of the show to know the details, nor do I care to, but I immediately started thinking about that sort of attraction and how it relates to my dating experiences. There have certainly been times where I’ve put some dude up on a pedestal from the beginning and overlooked other aspects in an attempt to hold onto the initial tinglies. Eventually I have to walk away because it’s not real. It’s just me trying to force feelings and that’s not how the feels are supposed to work.
For me it usually takes about six months though; this chick didn’t even let it go for three weeks. Baller move. It’s hard enough to walk away from a seemingly perfect-at-first glance relationship in normal circumstances, let alone one where being on TV and experiencing expensive and exciting things is at stake. I think this sort of self-awareness in a Bachelor contestant is admirable. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, I want to be more like unnamed lady from the Bachelor.
Who knew watching a stupid reality show could prompt me to write such a long flipping post? Tweet me some shirtless Juan Pablo pics if you actually read to the end of this novel, and please tell me your thoughts on this phenom. Would you go on TV to find your hubs? Does this show also make you want to vom? Do tell.
as you know – i have been watching all season… and it's entertaining, but nothing you can really take seriously. at the end of the day the approach to finding love this way is totally flawed. then again i am not watching it expecting the contestants to find true love. bonus if they actually do though!
I totally have been watching this all season, and I can't help it because it is so entertaining! Like, how you can't look away from a train wreck. You are right, there isn't anything you can take away from this show, I know I haven't! I just watch it for the laughs. I have a hard time thinking that they could find true love through this show.. because what happens when all of the traveling and thousand dollar dates end?
I honestly could not agree with you more. I dislike the bachelor because it's totally unrealistic and I loved the girl who left early. She's the only one, in my opinion anyway, who is looking for a "real" relationship instead of 15 minutes of fame. I'm with you, pass me a solo cup and I'll vomit too 🙂 Also, I don't tweet but I would send you a shirtless pic if I did.
Whit from Raspy Wit
The only investment I made this season (or any of the last bajillion) was Brooke's blog posts where Brad would take over. You're so right how 'dating multiple people' is a cluster fk of things. I think my boy detox is actually a detox from feeling feels, not seeing boys and getting dranks fo free.