One to Nothin'

My hoarding habit

by 6 Comments

If you were to grab my phone right now and start flipping through my camera roll, I would tackle you down and give you the gnarliest purple nurple of your life, and then I would berate myself for having let it get this far. There are 6,180 photos saved to my phone presently and I guarantee you at least 3,000 of them are the exact same photo as the one taken directly before it from a different angle (or with a filter added to it from good ole Instagram). Of the other 3,180 photos, I guarantee you at least 180 of them are selfies (yea, that number is probably much higher.. My soul has officially been captured and destroyed by film), 1,000 are of various alcoholic bevvies and food cooked, ordered or shamefully eaten by me and the last 1,000 are probably split up between Ziggy and blurry, useless concert photos.

Let’s pretend for a second that I’m not a photo hoarder, however, and that we’re just normal people flippin’ through a normal person’s iPhone to get a sneak peek into what in her life causes her to click that camera app button on a day to day basis, shall we?

I present to you, my daily muses:

I just called myself my own muse. Wow, it doesn’t get much more conceited than that (but wait, it does). What we’re looking at here is a classic example of me taking a selfie, then feeling weird about it so instead I choose to strike a New York Fashion Week pose with my fashion forward mani and matching road rash and totally-in-right-now frizzball hair. The goofiness offsets the weird, or so I tell myself.
Here’s where I get creative by combining my passions and inspirations into each photo: above I combine my love of selfies with my love of white wine, and below we see my love of liquor paired nicely with my affinity for meat products in areas they would not normally be found.
Now we’re getting to the good stuff. See, this here essential photography just goes to show that I think variety is the spice of life. I’m not confined by society’s stereotype of how my sodium-packed carbohydrate-rich foods should be consumed! Damn the man! If I want to eat my Ramen raw or with an egg or two thrown in, so be it! And who says I have to have cheese on my pizza? Get out of here, cows!
This is an example of the importance texting has on life goals and the awkwardness that goes along with the whole winking predicament (which may just have to be elaborated on in a future post). And then there are my SoundHound screenshots which basically serve as reminders of songs I like as well as flashcards so that I will continue to reign supreme in One to Nothin’ for the rest of my days.
So that’s my iPhone hoarding habit in a nutshell. Happy Humpday.

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Comments

  5. shannon

    lady friend. i am with you on photo hoarding. although i made the conscious effort the other day to try and clean out the pictures. but it was so severe an undertaking that i just gave up and took a nap.

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