and I stand here with my arms out

A lot of unbelievable things have happened in my life since moving cross country four months ago. I guess they’re not all that unbelievable, after all they are pretty normal things, but I often have trouble wrapping my head around them all. I’ve only touched on a few of them on this space, but sometimes I get that impostor syndrome feeling. It feels like I’m just dreaming sometimes. Like I’m not actually living in California and I don’t really have a real job and an apartment that I can actually afford to live in with a roommate who cooks dinner and saves me leftovers. 

It doesn’t seem possible that I could drive a couple hours and be in the mountains or at the beach or that it never rains and it’s always cool at night. There are no mosquitos and even the spiders are smaller. It’s strange to feel so at ease even with my family so far away and I can’t believe all the relationships that have blossomed, fizzled, strengthened and surprised me in this short period of time. It’s really amazing what removing yourself can do. I don’t claim to have any sort of sage advice or wisdom for twenty somethings trying to figure life out (let’s be real, I drunk dialed my parents the other night..), but I do feel like I have a new perspective on a lot of things just from stepping back, and for that I am very grateful and relieved.

I think I need to start believing all this is real and paying more attention, because this week went by way too fast.