(It just seemed appropriate)
Have you ever had a stranger say something to you that really bothered you when there’s really absolutely no reason why you should care? If not, I am incredibly envious. In several job interviews I’ve been asked what my greatest weakness is, and I know that you’re supposed to say something that can be turned around into a good thing (I know this because I watched The Hills, duh), but my answer is that I’m too sensitive.
I usually follow it up with something along the lines of “this also means I’m compassionate” and blah, blah, blah but sometimes it’s really hard to find the good in it. It’s just a pain in the ass, truth be told.
I was the kid who would get called on in class and start tearing up before I even heard the question. I was the kid who got a giant lump in her stomach that lingered for days if someone so much as raised his voice at her. The one that almost didn’t go to the final round of judging of the science fair because one judge (out of, like, five) thought her project was stupid and she couldn’t stop crying the entire night (I went and won, by the way). The one who would rather be miserable than hurt someone else’s feelings because she knows what those feelings are like.
I’ve gotten a lot better about it as I’ve gotten older but sometimes it still pops up when I least expect it and it hangs over me like a Dementor sucking the happiness out of me. I don’t understand why I let the opinions or inconsiderations of strangers affect me so deeply even when I know, on a conscious level, that I did nothing wrong and it’s irrational to feel this way. But I do. And I probably always will.
Sometimes I just have to stop my thought process and observe for a second. I literally ask myself why I’m tensing up my shoulders and burrowing my brow. It’s a conscious decision for me to let it go. I make myself physically relax with deep breaths, meditation, yoga; my very own Patronus, if you will.
Sorry to get all weird on you guys, but basically I wanted to explore this struggle in case anyone else shares in these feelings and also, here are some of the magical things of the internet that have since made me feel better:
Sarah sent me this and it’s hilarious, but I really resonate with this one, and this one is so, so very accurate.
My sister sent me this the other day and it made me lol.
This song still makes me want to dance every day.
Awww.
All the links in this post (and every other post by her for that matter).
This lady has quickly become one of my faves too.
I’m doing a rave 5k..
And on that note, I hope you’re as happy as a sheep on a beach today.
HARRY POTTER REFERENCES
Big girl you should go back in time and tell little girl you how beautiful, capable, witty, accomplished and smart she's going to become, then give her a hug. Then she should remind her that others opinions are just that- opinions and inconsiderations. They don't know the whole truth and they often don't think before they speak, which shouldn't be your problem – it's theirs 🙂
You were raised to have compassion for others and that alone makes your character stronger than someone who puts you down or makes you feel bad. Sensitivity is a gift and it means you have a kind heart.
And the next time if you feel brave, tell that person who made you feel uncomfortable how their actions made you feel, and rather than make yourself miserable to save someone else's feelings, tell them what position it's putting you into. They will often listen, and if they have an ounce of compassion like you do they'll help you back.
Ps- Thank you for the link love <3
Last one, I promise! Mom gave me some great advice for when something somebody says bothers you.
Ask yourself "is it true?". Often it's not, and you get a free pass to ignore they were being a dick. It really sets you free!
People are stupid. Don't let them get to you. I wish I had some wiser words to offer, but just know that you're awesome and anyone who says otherwise can suck it.
I try not to let people get to me. I know what you mean, though. As I got older, those feelings started to fade. Because now I just don't care anymore. You don't like it? Tough. Go away.
LOL!
It's frustrating being sensitive, I used to be a cold hearted b-word and nothing ever got to me. But after I had my son it seems like if someone even glances at me wrong it bothers me and makes me sad ha ha.
Love the Harry Potter reference!!
I felt like I was reading my own story here. I hate that I get so emotional over people who really don't matter.
This post is really quite refreshing! I'm the same – I'm not as bad as I used to be and I think thankfully these days I can mostly brush things off when I put my mind to it but when I'm not feeling great as it is, I sometimes get more upset then I should. Generally I just try to tell myself that life is too short and that grudges shouldn't be held, but it's a tough one, isn't it? I've lost close friends in the past because I suppose I've let them get away with too much to avoid dwelling on things, then because they knew they could get away with it they went on to do things that really did upset me, causing me to end the friendship. It's so hard to find that balance between letting things go that don't really matter, or taking hold of a situation and saying 'no more'.
Bit of a rant there but I do know how you feel 🙂
http://inspire-magazine-online.blogspot.co.uk/
xx
man I am the same way! ever since i was little the fear of getting in trouble or having someone be disappointed in me was/is the worst feeling ever…. just remember you're pretty awesome lady and don't let the haters get you down!
I know exactly how you feel, sometimes I just lay in bed at night wondering about why people I don't even know don't like me and sometimes I'm right and they don't like me and that's their loss and not mine, they don't know me even if they think they do so its best to just move on or sometimes I'm wrong and I've completely misunderstood their intentions. Just be you, make sure you make yourself happy and some people are just not worth your effort or your tears. You seem like a lovely person so stay strong
xx
P.S I quoted Mean Girls to a room of middle aged guys today and no one got it, I was so upset!
simplechroniclesofme.blogspot.co.uk
I'm quite sensitive too, but it took me a long to realize and accept that. I never thought of using that as a "weakness" for a job interview, but I can see how that honesty can be a positive. It's great to recognize this in yourself!
~ Amanda mylifeiguess.com
YES! I've always been extremely sensitive but over the years, I've developed A HUGE shield against emotion, basically. Can't say that's an improvement.
One way I've heard people phrase that during interviews is "sometimes you take professional criticism personally" and that you're fighting to keep it separate.
Michelle @ Mishfish13
I can so relate to this post. I'm a self diagnosed highly sensitive person (no really someone wrote a book with the same name) and I have to work on it every single day. I hate the what is your weakness questions in interviews. It always feels like there is no right response.
This happens to me a lot too. It was especially bad when I worked in the service industry (grocery store, Starbucks, etc.) and would let insanely stupid customers' comments bother me. There was one woman who accused me of racism (it was seriously the most ridiculous thing ever – she claimed I said "you people always use so many coupons" because she had a lot of coupons…um no.) and after that I just realized you know what….OBVIOUSLY some people just have stuff going on that they cannot handle without leaking it on other people. That made it a tiny bit easier, but not totally.
Also I would love to hear this story about the sheep costume on the beach…surely there is a story…!
I've always been too sensitive about everything, but it wasn't such a hard thing to deal with until I married into a family where the women (namely my mother-in-law and her family) get offended at absolutely everything! I can't even count how many panic attacks I had around my wedding trying to make them all happy. I still don't know how to deal with it but if you learn the secret, pass it along, ok?
i will fight anyone that hurts your feelings.
remember that.
DY-ING over The Hills reference…I've thought about that episode before going on job interviews, too.
I have a hard time not taking things too personally, but I'm getting better at it. Now I try to calm myself down before I react in any way – that way I don't say something I regret.
Glad I found you!