According to Ziggy

Well hello there. Ziggy Stardust here. I’m a pudgy beagle mix and I’m pretty much royalty ’round these parts. Feel free to bow down and feed me beef jerky. Right now I’m cooped up in a car with my mom and some cute lady with freckles and Harry Potter tattoos. Those bitches tricked me. I got psyched out of my mind thinking we were going to the dog park despite the fact that my mama haphazardly threw all of her stuff into the back of her car. Then when we kept driving past the dog park, I realized something was just not right. Mom says we’re going to California. I don’t know what that is, but there better be some cool dogs to play with there because I’m going to miss my brother and sister, no matter how obnoxious they are. Also, I plan to whine as much as possible so that they’ll be forced to pull over thinking I have to pee. The thing is, I actually have a big ole bladder. I just really like sniffing around strange places.

Wanna know what else I like? I’ll tell you. I like crushing spiders and rubbing my face in dead, potent frogs — pretty much any dead animal that smells gross to mom, sounds delicious to me. I like scratching the crap out of doors so that everyone knows I’m ready to come inside, bumping my nose on the cabinet so everyone knows I’m ready for a treat, snuggling with my mom under the covers with my butt directly in her face and hiding my bones all over the yard, laundry, couches, under beds, anywhere that my dog siblings won’t find them. I LOVE going for runs and wiping my butt on the couch.

Some dude with a beard and awesome belly scratching abilities says I have a celebrity doppelganger:

Do you see the resemblance? I think I’m way hotter than that chick. This song is my jam though. (except for this one of course)

Lastly, it’s important that you know I hate water, love giving my mom kisses..

And look really good in glasses.

Now get excited for some super awesome people to post on this here blog for the next week or so. 

It’s gonna be a blasty blast. Also, keep us in your prayers — lots of driving in our future.

Woof.