One to Nothin'

Do you like to.. do it yourself?

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There should be more parties revolving around innocent beverages like tea, and obviously not because I’m opposed to parties revolving around not-so-innocent bevvies, but because I’m a huge fan of tiny cucumber sandwiches, sugar cubes, big hats and DIY-ing the shiz out of things. This particular DIY is brought to you by my talented sister, Britni, who tends to take normal things like thrifted plates and candlestick holders and turns them into beautiful table decorations.
For each centerpiece you’ll need three plates (big, medium and small sizes), two candlestick holders and Gorilla Glue. 
From there, glue the candlestick holder to the bottom of the smallest plate and another candlestick holder to the bottom of the medium plate using the glue sparingly (as I know from experience it will bubble up and look diseased if you use too much). Allow them to dry completely before gluing the open ends of the candlestick holders to the centers of the biggest and middle sized plates. In order. Just use your brain, you got this.
Look at that beaut. Fill the plates with pretty things like buttons and flowers or Valentine’s Day things like chocolate covered strawberries and edible underwear conversation hearts.

Avocados are awesome. Here’s proof.

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As a kid I thought avocados were gross. Like, that-looks-like-boogers-please-get-it-off-my-plate kind of gross. I don’t think it was until sophomore year of college when I tried my sister’s guacamole recipe that I realized avocados might not be all bad. Of course my domestically challenged self attempted to recreate this miracle guac recipe and promptly bought severely underripe avocados and continued to cut, mash and feel perplexed as I waited for this rock-hard green stuff to transform into the creamy goodness it should’ve been. Clearly that batch was a failure for the books (luckily I didn’t blog back then..), but I’ve come a long way since.
Now avocados are hands-down one of my favorite foods, and I don’t even need to tell you how great they are for you, so I’ll just get to the point. Here are some of my favorite ways to incorporate avocados into my life.
First preheat the oven to 400 degrees, then spray a muffin tin with olive oil and layer thinly sliced turkey, a spoonful of salsa, avocado slices and top with a raw egg. Bake for about 10 minutes or until the egg is cooked to your liking. Top with a little salt, pepper and sliced green onions and #hashtagpaleo all DAY, son!
Mash up half an avocado, dissolve one teaspoon of honey (or agave nectar to make it vegan) in 2 tablespoons of warm water, combine and apply to face. Leave for 10 minutes and wash off for smooth, moisturized skin, but don’t forget to take sexy bathroom selfies first.
Whenever I want to add some green to my plate and don’t feel like doing a lot of cutting and prepping, I simply cut open an avocado, squeeze some lemon juice over and add a little bit of salt and cayenne pepper. It’s an amazeballs combination of creamy, sour and spicy. Nom. Side note: my grandpa used to put lemon juice and mayo on avocados. They’re actually delicious. This is kind of like that but considerably healthier.
The creamy texture of avocados makes them perfect for dessert too. Combine half an avocado, 5 strawberries (washed and cut), 1 tablespoon cacao powder, 2 tablespoons agave nectar (or more to taste) and about a tablespoon of milk of choice (I used Lactaid milk, but almond, soy or coconut would be perfect) in a blender. Once smooth, refrigerate for a few hours or overnight depending on how thick you’d like it to be and put it ALL in your mouth (see another variation here).
I found this recipe here. Combine one avocado, 3 tablespoons olive oil, 1 tablespoon lemon juice, 1/2 cup water, 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper in a blender for a crazy creamy and dairy-free salad dressing. It’s like ranch dressing but healthier and with less stomach destruction.
How do you like to eat avocados?

On crying

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Do I look like I’m crying? Spoiler: I’m not.
For those who don’t know me IRL, I’m a cryer. Kristen Bell and I have that in common. If I’m not between a 3 and 7 on the emotional scale, bring on the tissues (or toilet paper because Kristen and I don’t have money in common), but lately I’ve been crying over weird stuff, even for me**. 
Let me give you some examples of things that have made me cry in the past few days: 
The way the author chose to describe blueberries bursting in pancake batter, the smell of bread wafting through the house and the feeling in the pit of your stomach right before you see someone you’re madly in love with get off of a plane in “The Weird Sisters.” This book is amazing. Obviously.
“All Who Remain” by Beware of Darkness and “Another Love” by Tom Odell. These are both pretty sad songs so I guess it makes sense, but I included them anyway because you should love with them with me.
The photos in Brooke’s post right here. I don’t know when beaches and lovely weekends became worthy of a cry sesh, but whatevs.
The fact that every time I start crying (even silently) Ziggy freaks out and jumps all over me. This is slightly inconvenient because she’s 50 pounds of pure sympathy, but it’s too adorable. Tears. 
This wonderful post by Jessi. Follow her. She’s awesome.
The realization that one of my three W-2s is probably in a dumpster somewhere. Ah, the frustration cry. It’s not unlike when you’re a child and you’re too short to reach the lollipop on the counter so your face turns bright red and you cry until an adult helps you, except it doesn’t have the same result when you’re 24.
The budding romance between Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt. It’s like Pam and Jim all over again. Every awkward convo gets me all misty eyed. 
And many more I either can’t think of or refuse to admit to.
What weird things have made you cry lately? 
**No, I’m not PMSing and no, I’m not pregnant. The end.

Food. Lots and lots of food.

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Turns out the majority of my weekend was spent consuming, cooking, craving and photographing food. I didn’t even get a chance to take photos of the sushi I ordered Friday night because I was too busy scarfing it down to the soundtrack of a Parks & Rec marathon. Also, the lady who packed up my sushi to go (very meticulously, I might add) included three sets of silverware. Three spoons, three forks and three pairs of chopsticks. She clearly thought I had ordered far too much food for one little girl, but guess what, lady? I ran a TRAIN on that sushi. There was a picnic involved on Saturday (which was my half birthday btdubz), banana bread baking, fried chicken and waffles and finally a paleo-approved chicken stir fry with baked kale chips. Seriously, you guys, except for one gym sesh and throwing together this little baby collage on my wall, that was my entire weekend. I didn’t even watch the Super Bowl. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a book to read and more antisocial behaviors to partake in.

Beginner’s Guide: Types of Wine

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The lovely Rachel of RachMarie PR is here today to teach us newbs a thing or two about wine. Perhaps this will help me avoid the whole downing a 6-dollar bottle and being hung over for the rest of my life? Probably not. Take it away, lady!
Wine needn’t be expensive or intimidating―some basic knowledge and a corkscrew are all you need to enjoy a bottle of your favorite wine. First, you will need to decide what you like. Red or white? Sweet or dry? Start experimenting. This will take some time – but it will be fun! If you don’t want to hit your pocketbook too hard, attend wine tastings! You will learn something more of what you do and don’t like and have a great time with the girls or a loved one. 
Know Your Whites: 
Chardonnay – the wine’s fruity flavors can vary from apple and lime to tropical fruits. When it is barreled in oak, it becomes richer and honey and butter flavors are prominent. 
Riesling – usually very sweet; with fruity flavors like apple, lime and pear. 
Pinot Gris – Simple, light-bodied, dry and crisp. 
Sauvignon Blanc – dry, tart and acidic with herbal and tropical fruit flavors. 
Moscato – Fruity and often sweet. 
Know Your Reds: 
Cabernet Sauvignon – full-bodied with herbal and rich flavors. 
Merlot – Fruity and spicy. 
Pinot Noir- Fresh with fruity aromas. 
Zinfandel – a zesty wine ranging from medium to full-bodied and dry to off-dry.

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Rachel is an energetic lifestyle, fashion, beauty and PR blogger at RachMarie PR. She has a love for fashion, social media, Netflix, networking and can’t live without her smartphone, coffee, sunglasses, family and friends, music and cozy blankets. Connect with her on her blog, Facebook and Twitter!

Things that annoy me for stupid reasons.

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Everyone has normal pet peeves. I will want to punch you straight in the baby maker if you chew with your mouth open or suck at your teeth or make any mouth noises in my presence. And chalkboard scratching makes my ear holes want to implode just like the rest of the universe, but I want to discuss the others. The innocent things, phrases, actions, people that don’t deserve it but receive my silent hatred and serious brain shade on a daily basis anyway. Here goes.
Butterflies
The real things are fine. If I see one flying by, I don’t try to smash it or anything. Sometimes I even think they’re pretty, but as soon as a butterfly is painted, sewn, sketched, printed, carved, molded or bejeweled, I want to vomit all over it. There have been times when I saw a busy clothing item I thought I was interested in trying on and as soon as the winged creature became clear I recoiled in disgust. You will never see me rocking clothing or jewelry with any sort of butterfly depicted on it. This is one thing I know for sure.  Don’t get me started on butterfly tattoos. 
“Well deserved”
When people describe what they’re about to do as “well deserved,” I want to give them a roundhouse kick to the face. This often happens on Facebook when friends tell the interwebz they’re “about to take a well deserved bath/nap/vacation” or “get a well deserved cocktail/manicure” or “just got a well deserved pumpkin spiced/peppermint mocha/gingerbread latte”–accompanied by a photo of it, of course, because Starbucks cups are unique pieces of caffeinated art. I think it’s the sense of entitlement or the arrogance implied, as if this person works harder than everyone else who isn’t soaking in their own filth/getting their cuticles ripped off/drinking sugar milk at this very moment. Perhaps something more along the lines of, “I’m so proud of myself for accomplishing _____ this week. Celebrating with a mani/pedi!” would’ve gained you one more ‘like’ from this guy.
Scarlett Johansson 
Even the way her name is spelled sucks (mainly because I had to look it up to make sure it was right, but still). Maybe it’s because she married Ryan Reynolds or because she played a husband stealer in “He’s Just Not That Into You” or because she spent a lot of time with eyebrows that were much darker than her hair, but she annoys me in a special way.
ALL the FB apps
If you ever played Farmville, CandyCrush, SororityLife or whatever those damn games on Facebook that require you to send invitations to your friends are, I’m sorry that you have fallen in this trap, but stop trying to bring others down with you. Just click “skip,” this is almost always an option. And if you’re more of a practical FB apps kind of dude, then I say, if you really need an extra reminder of who your family members are/when birthdays are/what your horoscope is, then do it, but you do not have to invite all of your friends to it as well. If you can’t remember that we’re related without a FB app, then maybe we should get dinner or blood tests or anything other than making it Facebook official with obnoxious apps.
Thigh Gap
There are tons of perfectly good reasons why this term should annoy me (unhealthy body image, encouraging eating disorders, reinforcing a stereotype..), but the one that doesn’t really make sense is just the word “gap” itself. Some how I interchange “gap” with “gaping” in my brain, which in turn makes it a “gaping hole,” which makes for a pretty graphic and gross image of women’s thighs with tendons and blood pouring out of their gaping holes. Just no.
Darius Rucker
Remember Hootie & the Blowfish? Yea, me too. Riddle me this, how does one go from creating ridiculously catchy songs like this, this and this with a fun rock band to a solo career in country in which you succeed in completely destroying the likes of a wonderful song like this? Not cool, man. Not cool.
Revolving Doors
Just, why?
What do you throw brain shade at for no good reason?

Hard hats & cheap wine.

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It’s almost 8pm on Monday night and I think I might still be a little hungover from Saturday. This will be my excuse for why my post is going up approximately 12 hours later than usual. So obviously my weekend was a doozy. Well, Friday night I made cobb salad and took photos because I thought it was a beaut, then read in bed until I fell asleep at, like, 10pm. Party. Saturday, however, my alarm started going off at 5:45am so I could drive to SF and build houses all day. Yea, those hard hats are not just sexy, they’re functional, too. 
Emma and I decided to volunteer with the Greater San Francisco Habitat for Humanity (you can see some of the houses we helped build here). To say we were inexperienced in the construction field would be a massive understatement. After breaking off my second nail head while trying to pull it out, I freaked out and reassigned myself to trash pickup duty. It was rough. Luckily I made a come back in the second half of the day and even climbed up on top of the beams at one point to hammer one thingy to the other thingy (fun fact: construction is a family business and I grew up on these sites and yet I still can’t properly hammer a nail. Pathetic.) I think I might just stick to my strengths for my next volunteering opportunity (I could teach a class on how to accrue massive hangovers with minimal effort pro bono..), but it was an awesome experience. One day I’ll drive by those houses all finished up and tell whoever happens to be next to me about how I played a vital role in their construction. 
After we were thoroughly exhausted, bruised and dehydrated, we headed to Oakland for an amaze-balls dinner at Southie (they had a poached egg and bacon salad with truffle salad dressing, you guys) and a sweet house party where I finished off a bottle of cheap white wine therefore ruining any and all plans for Sunday, including blogging. Woops. Overall, it was a pretty great weekend. Two thumbs way, way up.
Did you give back to your community or run outside to puke in the middle of breakfast this weekend? 

If I were a rich girl..

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Running in Style

One of these days. Until then I’ll keep rockin’ the kids-section Norts and D.A.R.E./Weird Al t-shirts. Here’s my week in fitness and a cardiolicious playlist for your weekend long run (ha!).
S- 8-mile hike
M- 3.2-mile run, love your abs (x3)
T- Kettlebells (x2)
W- 4.2-mile walk, love your arms & abs (x1)
T- 1.2-mile walk, 3.3.-mile run, love your booty (x1)

 
Happy Friday!

Stupid Easy Paleo Desserts

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I really like dessert. There, I said it. My taste buds are like an insatiable child. As soon as they taste savory, they want sweet and vice versa. Deciding on what kind of soft pretzel to get at Auntie Anne’s is a serious internal battle every. single. time. (Really, though. Future husband, if you’re out there, just know you must agree to always get the opposite of whichever flavor I choose so we can go halvsies. And don’t even consider straying outside the cinnamon sugar/salted pretzel region. Pepperonis need to get OUT of my pretzel party.) This was a real issue when I first started the whole Paleo thing, especially since with the Whole30 cleanse, the idea is to stop the whole “dessert” concept completely. That didn’t fly for me. Especially after doing some Google research and learning that the Paleo dessert recipes run rampant around the interwebz. I got pretty good at whipping up Paleo-tastic desserts quickly and basically became prehistoric Martha Stewart. These are some of my go-to recipes (only two of them actually require baking).
Chocolate Mousse
Ingredients:
3 avocados
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 cup agave nectar or honey (this is not Whole30-friendly, however you could sub bananas or strawberries)
1 cup (unsweetened) cacao powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
Combine ingredients in a blender, store in the fridge for a few hours and serve with sliced bananas or strawberries. I swear it doesn’t taste like guacamole. If you’re feeling saucy, add coconut milk (the real kind from the can) on top and pretend like it’s whipped cream.
Froyo
Obviously real yogurt is off-limits and I don’t know what they actually are, but those bursting juice balls probably are too, so instead of loading up my soft serve with gummy bears, I created my own version. I’ve made this a bajillion times and it’s different every time, but basically instead of yogurt I use coconut milk from the can and use fresh fruit, nuts and shredded coconut for the toppings. My personal favorites are sliced bananas and strawberries, frozen blueberries and raspberries, sliced almonds and always unsweetened shredded coconut.
Fried Bananas
These guys surprised me when they turned out to be majorly delicious. It’s a little more work because of the clean up and what not, but totally worth it. The original recipe is here.
Ingredients:
1 tablespoon unrefined coconut oil
1 banana (no brown spots!)
1 tablespoon honey
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
ground cinnamon

Heat the coconut oil in a frying pan over medium heat and add the vanilla and sliced up banana letting it cook for a couple minutes before carefully flipping. Drizzle honey over the nanners once they’re browned on both sides, sprinkle with cinnamon and enjoy.

Pancakes
These pancakes really are stupid easy. 
Ingredients:
1 overripe banana
2 eggs
1 tablespoon coconut oil
Combine the ingredients in a bowl, heat the oil in a frying pan over medium high heat and cook the banana/egg mixture a spoonful at a time and flip like you would with pancake batter. Eat them by themselves or get crazy with sliced fruit/cinnamon/honey.

Cinnamon Buns
Okay, this one isn’t that easy but it was really tasty. Then again, this was after spending 30 days without sugar, so perhaps my judgement can’t be trusted. Anyway, check it out here.
What do you sugar-free people eat when you have a sweet tooth? 
**Sorry about the brownie in the picture. I totally made them and I remember them being delicious but I didn’t post the recipe and now I have no recollection of how it was made, so I will be experimenting and reporting back soon.**
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