One to Nothin'

Who loves the sun?

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Dress: Sound & Matter / Top: Eyeshadow / Wedges: Target

 I chose to get dressed up and dance with the sun in front of the camera yesterday afternoon. I traded my sports bra for a curling iron and sneakers for wedges for no other reason than to take photos and feel pretty for a couple hours. I didn’t get my run in, but I think it was worth it. Surely dancing with the sun counts for some kind of cardio.

My favorite posts ever

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Since I don’t have a “best of” tab or anything of the sort (yet), I decided to do a roundup post for new followers to see how brilliant ridiculous I am. While thinking about the posts I enjoy writing/re-reading the most on this here blog, I came across a pattern and it looks like this: drinking, dating, running and a little random ranting thrown in here and there. So here goes, friends, One to Nothin’s hall of fame. Or something.
Drinking
I Might Be Schizophrenic – where I introduce the blogosphere to my drunk alter ego. 
Moscato-fueled Inadequacies – where I give some gif-laden insight into the inadequacies of my adult life (while drinking moscato).
How Running Is Like Binge Drinking – this one fits in two categories! Whatayaknow?
When I Drink.. – also a gif-laden account of my drinking process, always ending in an epic hangover, of course.
Hangover Ponderings – includes a super sexy hungover hairstyle.
Running
Running: An Anthropological Speculation – this is my slightly judgey classification of all the types of people you encounter while running along the road. It’s my most visited post of all time and it contains so many sweaty selfies without filters. Pure gold. 
A Tragic Tale of Pain & Stupidity – the story of my billionth time eating concrete on a long run. There’s excitement, lots of self-deprecation and even some gore.
These Are My (Workout) Confessions – you know how sometimes people write “confession” posts where they confess to loving their husbands too much? This is the kind of confession post where I admit to having the world’s nastiest smelling arm band. Oh, and I photoshopped my face onto Usher, so.. win.
Thoughts I Have While Running – there’s a set for a good day and a set for a bad day. 
Dating
Unsolicited Dating Advice – not that you asked..
Flirting With Disaster Linkup – my first linkup (with Erin) about dating disasters, which was ridiculously fun.
How TV Set Me Up For Relationship Failure – Nick Miller, Wade Kinsella, all the hot, loser, emotionally unavailable dudes I’m head over heels for.
The One Where I Embarrass My Exes – some dudes have done some funny/adorable/ridiculous things for me, so naturally I blogged about it.
Blogging: The Cons – wingmen have responsibilities: keeping the blog under wraps is one of them.
Random
Things That Annoy Me For Stupid Reasons – apparently I’m not alone in a lot of these.
According to Ziggy – my dog likes to blog for me sometimes.
My First “Vlog” – I made a video because I couldn’t think of anything to write. Then it got deleted off of YouTube, so now it’s tiny but it’s there.
Douchey Song Lyrics That Make Me lol – there might be a part II brewing. Any suggestions are welcomed and encouraged.
Top 5 Cringe-Worthy Song Lyrics – songs that make you go “hmm.”
Pigmalabiaphobia – any time I can make up a word and include ‘labia’ in it is a win in my book.

Paleo Shrimp Pasta

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I don’t know how I just discovered grain-free shirataki noodles, but I did, and I’m super pumped about it. As much as I love spaghetti squash and peeled zucchini, convenience is a big effing deal in my book, and these noodles come in a package that just requires heat. Win. I decided to take my favorite combo ever: lemon/butter/capers and paleofy some shrimp pasta. It was delicious. Here’s what I used.
juice from 1/2 lemon
cherry tomatoes (sliced)
scallions
cilantro
1 T chopped garlic
3 T clarified butter
2 T extra virgin olive oil
1/4 c (or just ALL THE) drained capers
salt and pepper to taste
1 package of cooked shrimp, tails pulled off
1 package of shirataki noodles (I used the spinach kind, also note that if there’s tofu in the ingredients it’s not technically paleo)
*optional* splash of milk/cream (I used soy milk, but canned coconut milk could be a paleo sub)
Drain the package of noodles and heat them in a pot of water on the stove. While waiting for the noodles to heat up, add the butter, olive oil and garlic to a pan over medium heat for a few minutes, then add the rest of the ingredients. 
Drain the noodles, add them to the lemon, butter, caper deliciousness and then come back here so you can properly thank me in the comments. Just kidding. Unless you want to.

So let go

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My weekend started off with exciting Valentine’s Day business, like receiving that adorable plant in a bee vase from my parents, taking pink bathroom mirror v-day selfies and super delicious ginger juleps, and then quickly turned into wallowing in self pity while balls deep in a Netflix binge (I’m now officially on Season 4 of Parks & Rec, in case you were wondering). Then finally on Sunday I went for a long run and sat down to more Netflix with a little less self-deprecation and a little more muscle exhaustion. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a best friend who’s been out of town that I need to catch up with and enjoy this lovely Presidents Day with.

The Sunday Currently

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R E A D I N G “The Paris Wife.” I’ve been destroying some novels lately and the past two were really, really great. I’m not sure how I feel about this one yet, but any insight, fiction or not, into Hemingway is pretty fascinating to me.
W R I T I N G.. more like not writing enough. I haven’t even come close to checking ‘freelancing’ off my list of resolutions. But let’s be real, the majority of my resolutions have dissolved by now anyway. 
L I S T E N I N G to a sexy version of “No Diggity” by Chet Faker and to Ziggy whining because she wants my food.
T H I N K I N G about love and relationships, what makes them work or not and wondering why they’re so damn hard.
S M E L L I N G the breakfast I just devoured: a sausage omelette with lemon-drenched avocado and coffee.
W I S H I N G I had the funds to hop on a plane every weekend (and that Ziggy was small enough to do so with me). I’m craving adventure.
H O P I N G to get some clarity soon. My next move is very hazy and I’m ready to start forming a real plan, but it’s overwhelming and easier to binge watch Parks & Rec instead.
W E A R I N G yoga pants covered in dog hair and a turkey trot t-shirt. I’m oozing sensuality right now. Try to contain yourself.
L O V I  N G coffee. I always drink the most coffee on lazy Sunday mornings. 
W A N T I N G a makeover for this blog. It’s been way too long and I am in no place to figure out how to do it myself. Any volunteers?
N E E D I N G to do a long run. I know I’ll feel so much better after I do and yet I still have no desire to put on my running gear.
F E E L I N G disappointed but hopeful, and grateful that I have this space to work such feelings out in.
siddathornton

Sexy, awkward & adorbz

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What’s Valentine’s Day without a collage, amIright? Seriously, though, how much of a badass would I be if I rocked those sexy leather boots on v-day with an otherwise totally tame LBD? I love them. They’re perfect for romantic adventures because they’re made of real leather with soft, durable soles (none of that hidden heel crap), and if you know me well, you probably already know that the romantic kind are some of my favorite kinds of adventures (see all the other colors and options here). Anyway, add some pretty gold polish, some quirky earrings and an extremely awkward (yet way too relatable) card and you’ve got yourself a day full of hearts and stuff. And just for funsies, here’s a flashback to one year ago.

Here’s a lovey dovey playlist, so if you hate love don’t press play, also maybe don’t leave your house today.

 
(and in case you don’t have Spotify..)

Why We Work

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We work because she licks my face when I cry and my legs when I’m sweaty.

We work because her paws smell like Fritos and her fur never stinks no matter how long she goes without a bath.

We work because she doesn’t judge me when I eat a pint of froyo while watching movies on a Friday night (in fact she helps me finish it), or when I don’t change out of my pjs for 24 hours, or when I binge watch Netflix tv shows, or when I’m so hungover I can’t move.

We work because she’s so lazy and tired in the morning that she poops as quickly as possible so she can get back in bed before I leave for work.

We work because she’s always down for running and adventures.

We work because she snuggles with me even when I don’t shave my legs for weeks.

We work because we both love Cosmo and carrots.

And finally, we work because she doesn’t get offended when I call her a sausage.

Linking up with The Daily Tay & Life of Bon

A touching love story.. about eggs.

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I’ve been consumed with thoughts of food lately. Cooking it, buying it, eating it. I can’t stop. And I don’t even want to. This does, however, make blogging slightly harder because all I want to do is show you guys all the awesome food in my life and the majority of you are not interested in that sort of thing. Still, the other thing that’s been consuming my brain is Parks and Recreation (because Netflix and I have some pretty serious sparks flying between us and I’m already up to date on Community), so instead of showing you some recipe I cleverly followed the directions for, I thought I’d give you some insight into the love that Leslie, Ron and I share: a breakfast obsession. 
I think it all started when I was about 6 years old. I’m guessing this age because “A Goofy Movie” came out in 1995 and I very specifically remember my little mouth drooling over the cheesy pizza goodness in the hotel with the water bed scene when I smelled real life eggs cooking. It was dinner time btdubz, which I feel like is important to point out considering how much I love breakfast but hate waking up early.
My cousin, who would have also been 6 at the time, was making said eggs, so I was intrigued. While I had never had much interest in eggs or any food that wasn’t ice cream, McDonald’s or wiener schnitzel before this point (wiener schnitzel is still my favorite, just go with it), the fact that my cousin was able to make it and he liked it, I would too. I immediately tasted it, loved it and made him teach me (and I’m guessing my aunt was involved since two six-year-olds playing with hot frying pans just sounds like a bad idea, but then again we used to do flips off the tree house onto the trampoline and sweep the roof together..). The trick was adding a splash of milk and lots of butter, I think. Either way, it was the perfect “Goofy Movie” snack. Who needs popcorn when you have scrambled eggs? NO ONE, that’s who.
I don’t think I learned how to cook a damn thing again until after college, but I was stoked to have this particularly succulent dish under my culinary belt. I’ve since expanded my exclusive love for scrambled eggs to include sunny-side ups, elaborate omelets, quiches, boiled eggs, benedicts and holy balls, why are eggs so delicious? Then of course there’s bacon. All the bacon. Always. Sausage, waffles, pancakes, biscuits, toast, jelly, mimosas and obviously Bloody Marys, they all get my heart racing. I guess that’s why I’ve decided to document all the breakfast I’ve ever created/consumed/creeped on in my phone despite the rather homogenous appearance and seemingly useless nature of this hoarding habit. Here’s a collage of them anyway.
Just bask in the Sriracha dots and try to tell me breakfast isn’t the best thing ever. Yep that’s all I got for you today, friends. Happy hump day.

San Diego Adventures

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Thursday night I bought a plane ticket and flew out to San Diego the next morning. I explored book stores, antique shops, beaches, swanky hotels, gardens and breweries while spending time with old friends and new ones. I even found a sand castle artist and a Bloody Mary with candied bacon in it. It was pretty magical. Cheers to spontaneous adventures!

Paleo(ish) Pho

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It’s been raining around these parts, which in my experience is a very rare occurrence (oh hey, drought, what up?), so I tried my hand at paleo pho (because apparently that’s what you eat when it’s raining out). Except I used tofu because I didn’t feel like cooking meat, so technically I guess it’s not paleo but whatever, it’s delicious. Here’s what I used:
4 cups beef broth
half a sweet onion
a bunch of fresh cilantro (if you have mint or parsley or any other herbs, I say throw ’em in too)
1 zucchini (thinly sliced; noodlesque)
1 package of thin shirataki noodles (in the refrigerated tofu section)
1/2 teaspoon sesame seed oil (I just shook the bottle, I have no idea)
1 tablespoon chopped garlic
1/4 inch ginger root grated
1/4 cup soy sauce (use coconut aminos to paleofy it)
1 package extra firm tofu (thinly sliced beef or chicken would be even better. I’m lazy.)
lime
bean sprouts
scallions
sriracha
Combine beef broth, soy sauce, sesame seed oil, onions, ginger and garlic in a pot over medium high heat and let it hang out for a while. When you feel that the onions have had a chance to mingle, add the noodles, zucchini, cilantro and tofu. Once they’re nice and hot, pour them in a bowl and add a lime wedge (after you squeeze it, obvs), scallions, more cilantro, bean sprouts and Sriracha. That’s it. Super simple, super delicious and super low-carb. Just how I like it.
By the time you read this I’ll be flying to San Diego! Happy Friday, friends!

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