One to Nothin'

What I Wore

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Dress: c/o SammyDress / Belt: Kohl’s / Wedges: Target / Bracelet: Etsy / Sunnies: Ray-Ban / Purse: Target

I’m having flashbacks of getting all dressed up to walk out to my parents’ yard to take selfies with a ghetto-rigged tea pitcher as a tripod and then immediately changing into pjs to upload the results. Surprisingly enough, I think this was the first time I ever snapped an outfit in the front yard though. I think my selfie game has improved since moving away (aka, I’m less embarrassed about getting caught in the act). Anyway I couldn’t wait to show off some of my newly acquired clothes/accessories, so I faced the wrath of my parents’ PC (broken clicker and all) to bring you these photos. I hope you’re as excited as I am. 
Sammy Dress sent me this cute little red dress and it almost feels like bathing suit material, so it’s kind of perfect for this ridiculously humid weather. It was a little big, but you can hardly tell after adding a belt and the site offers tons of really great deals. I’ll be showing off some of the adorbz jewelry they sent me soon, too. I finally got a new purse after carrying my old one that’s literally falling apart for way too long and I love this one. It has a bajillion pockets and I can fit the new fancy camera in the side where it is safe from runaway gum pieces and melted chapstick. I’m obsessed with this bracelet my sister gave me as a late Christmas present. Just look at those antlers and antique gold color. I swoon. 
And finally, how flippin’ cool are these Ray-Bans? If you follow me on Instagram, you might have noticed that I got my first eye exam in years the other day and I’m officially nearsighted, so in addition to my sweet normal glasses (also Ray-Bans), I got these prescription sunnies so I can drive safely even in the sunshine. I’m excited to have a photo shoot in my new glasses so I can show them off (my sister told me I look like Hipster Ariel in them), but for now I’m off to stalk my old college campus and enjoy Florida for a few more days. 
Linking up here.

The Fault In Our Stars

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I’ve talked about how I love to read and I’ve talked about how I bought this book on a whim (because Safeway wasn’t carrying “Insurgent” at the time), but I didn’t tell you that I have never finished a book in one sitting before. Before I read this one, I mean. I finished John Green’s “The Fault In Our Stars” on my flight to Florida and, as expected, I embarrassed myself by crying right there in my aisle seat. There was one other dude in my row and he was the best kind of flight partner — the kind that doesn’t try to talk to you at all — but of course the one time he needed me to move so he could pee, my nose was dripping and my eyes were quite obviously filled to the brim with tears. But such is the way with fantastic books, if you ask me.
I’ve already handed it off to my mom and she’s already read half of it (and sufficiently waterlogged the pages because bath time is prime reading time in this family). I highly suggest you go get your own copy as well. Here are some of my favorite quotes I remembered to fold the pages down for as I went along.
“Sometimes you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book. And then there are books like ‘An Imperial Affliction,’ which you can’t tell people about, books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like betrayal.”
“..the spring air just on the cold side of perfect, the late-afternoon light heavenly in its hurtfulness.”
“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”
“Maybe some people need to believe in a proper and omnipotent God to pray, but I don’t.”
“I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is improbably biased toward consciousness, that it rewards intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed. And who I am, living in the middle of history, to tell the universe that it–or my observation of it–is temporary?”
“Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.”
“It was kind of a beautiful day, finally real summer in Indianapolis, warm and humid–the kind of weather that reminds you after a long winter that while the world wasn’t built for humans, we were built for the world.”
Have you read this book? Did you love it? Are you as nervous about seeing the movie as I am? Let’s talk about it.

Love & Memories

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Writing a blog post from a computer that’s not mine feels oh so wrong, but I’ll tell you what doesn’t feel wrong: sleeping in the bed I slept in all through high school and a little bit into my post-college freak out days (ha, as if those days are over). There’s just something about it that makes it far more comfortable than any other. It has to be the smell. Nothing pulls me into a comatose state of nostalgia like an old familiar smell.
So far being home has meant eating out at all my old favorite restaurants, sitting by the pool with my family drinking mimosas, reapplying sunscreen and playing with our golden retriever Scout. It’s also meant wearing short sundresses without a jacket, leaving my boots in my old room in favor of flip flops, peeling my legs off the leather seats of my mom’s car, dealing with very frizzy hair and sweating my ass off.
I’ve seen lots of friends who love Fireball as much as I do, stressed about how to answer the “what are you doing with your life?” question and I’ve even suffered through one epic hangover. I expect the rest of this week will include beach time, a stroll through my college campus and my best attempts at squeezing in face to face time with any and all of my old buddies I haven’t seen in too long. Oh, and someone please punch me in the face if I come back from this trip without out any photos on my new camera. So far my iPhone is the only device getting any photo action and this is not okay with me.
I hope your weekend was also full of love and memories. Welp, that sentence just determined the song that’s going to play me out. Let’s do this, O.A.R.

Happy Things

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Since I’m on a plane home to Florida right now (!!!) I thought I’d recap some happy moments from the past week. 
I received the sweetest piece of snailmail from this lady and I thought it was the cutest thing ever. Kind of like when she Snapchats me videos of her seductively white girl gangsta rapping or doing questionable things to the eggplant emoji.
I bought “The Fault In Our Stars” from Safeway (turns out some grocery stores stock more than just bibles, trashy romance novels and magazines in their book section!) to read on the plane and I’m so excited/scared because I know I’m going to end up sobbing on the plane. And no, your eyes do not deceive you, I cheated on the no-sugar thing again. So bad and yet so good.
Peet’s coffee at the park, and would you check out those brows? They’ve got a mind of their own. I’m going to start calling them my eye caterpillars. ‘Brows’ just isn’t cutting it. I wonder if they’ll get thicker with age and start sticking straight out into oblivion like the super old dudes you see sitting at the chess tables at the park smoking pipes. Then I can call them my eye wirepillars. 
Chamomile tea in the raddest cup I own. There’s a peace sign at the bottom. Apparently hot bevvies make me giddy. 
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a family to tackle. Happy Friday!

Confessions

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Usually Wednesdays are reserved for outfit posts, but due to extenuating circumstances (read: laziness), the closest things to outfit photos I have this week are sad gym selfies. So instead we are going to join in on the Humpday Confessions party because it’s been quite some time since I’ve confessed my sins around these parts.
When I get frustrated I want to break stuff. I’m worried that I might actually hurt myself one of these days. You should’ve seen me slamming my fists into the floor last night because clearly that was going to fix my computer issues.
When I was little I used to bite the Nintendo controller because of that damn Donkey Kong. Seriously. There were bite marks. Does anyone know of a cheap therapist..?
I’m writing this post with my jeans unbuttoned and unzipped. Why are jeans so hard to wear? Maybe it’s because 80% of the time I’m wearing leggings and the other 20% I’m wearing stretchy jean-like leggings that don’t have pockets. They should have pockets.
April 19 is my one-year anniversary of living in California and it’s kind of blowing my mind. Partly because I can’t believe it’s been that long and partly because I am just as confused about my future as I was 12 months ago. I am that 20-something that everyone keeps writing Thought Catalogs about apparently.
I cheated on my no-sugar April venture the other day with cookies n cream froyo. It was SO worth it.
I have one Nike+ run logged for March and zero for April. So, marathon training is going well.
I often get weirdly obsessive girl crushes on ladies of the internet. And no, I don’t mean the ones who are my BFFs and send me poop Snapchats, I mean ones where I won’t comment because I’m that creepy and I’m probably 3 years back into their archives at that point anyway. Here’s my latest one.
I hope against all hope that I will be someone’s weirdly obsessive internet girl crush one day.
I have no idea what day of the #100happydays project I’m on. I just keep posting happy photos.
I’ve been daydreaming about the bloody mary I’m going to order on my flight to Florida on Friday morning since Monday.
I don’t remember making this playlist and it’s called “New Playlist.” Maybe I stole it from you? I’m sharing it anyway. Enjoy.

Linking up here.

It’s my blog and I can whine if I want to..

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Just look at that beautiful and necessary wall art.

You know how sometimes your laptop decides to turn on you just when you decide you most need it? Like last night, for example, when I was ready to get my online workout videos on, blog for today and work on some freelance shiz, but then my tracking pad started highlighting and clicking on everything like it had just followed a dose of speed with four vodka Redbulls so I went to my apartment gym instead. I had been looking forward to seeing the new gym since the office had been boasting about its remodel that came with a fancy new swipe key and everything! 
The last time I visited this gym, all I found were three rickety treadmills (that didn’t even have cup holders), a broken stair master, a stationary bike and absolutely no air flow whatsoever. I figured a remodel was overdue and assumed the new and improved gym would have free weights (if not machines), a new stair master, hopefully new treadmills and, at the very least, a fan. To my chagrin, I found new wall art, a couple big bouncy balls and yoga mats. The same broken stair master, the same treadmills that feel like they’re going to fall over with every step despite being a small person who runs on her toes, no weights and no fan. 
I ran on the treadmill and within 15 minutes I was dripping like I was in a sauna and the lights went out. Apparently the gym designers think people working out don’t need air, a water fountain or light for more than 15 minutes at a time. But hey, I’m super glad they decided to invest in a fancy swipe key because that, my friends, is what an apartment gym is really about. AmIright?
So after two miles I went back to my apartment and cried in the shower because my life is so hard, and now here I am behind on everything, not sore and my laptop is now trying to italicize and highlight everything in this post. I would’ve shared a ballin’ playlist with you today, but technology hates me. All right, friends, I’m done bitching for now. Wish me luck at the Apple Store.

Filed Under: ugh

Who names their kid “The Beast”?

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Friday night I went to a “Beauty and the Beast” singalong at the Castro Theater. It was pretty fabulous especially since we each got our own crown, pearls and a fork, which I assume was supposed to be used to kill the beast? Either way seeing this classic up on the big screen brought up some serious questions about the movie’s plot I had never considered before. Like, how old is “The Beast” when the fairy princess lady puts a spell on him? Because according to Lumiere, “For 10 years we’ve all been rusting, needing so much more than dusting,” and supposedly homeboy has to find true love by his 21st birthday (which if you ask me is pretty damn young to have found your true love, but maybe that’s just the jaded, single 24 year old in me talking). That means he was 11 when that curse was put on the castle, but he does not look 11 in that opening scene and shouldn’t an 11 year old’s parents be home when strangers come around offering roses and what not? Did they peace out when they realized their son was now a beast? If so, I understand why he’s such a d-bag. Also, why was this fairy princess whatever lady fine with cursing the entire castle? Chip is a child for heaven’s sake! He didn’t do anything to spend the first decade of his life as a teacup! And where is Mr. Pott’s anyway? Chip’s mama tells him to be off to the cupboard with all his ‘brothers and sisters.’ Um.. what? Why were Mrs. Pott’s and all her illegitimate children living inside of this castle? And, again, shouldn’t this lady have taken all the babies in the castle into consideration before blindly casting such an awful spell on it? She sounds like an evil witch to me. Maybe The Beast was right to turn that crazy biatch away. I’d also like to know why everyone else has a human name and the beast just remains “The Beast” until the end despite the fact that he was a prince. We also all just glaze over the fact that Gaston is dead. Like, he fell off the castle. That’s a bit morbid, no? Lastly, if “Crazy Old Maurice” is so crazy for describing a beast, why is everyone so quick to take Belle’s word when she whips out an enchanted mirror? A 10-foot beast is insane, but enchanted mirrors? Totally normal. Let’s go kill that beast. So many questions. 
Saturday night I went to see Dan Croll play at the Great American Music Hall. The venue was beautiful and the band rocked it. A couple of awesome gay guys bought me a tequila shot, I danced the night away and I didn’t even think to take any selfies. Far less unanswered questions came from my Saturday night excursions. Overall, I had a pretty kick ass weekend. How was yours?

Hashtag Foodporn

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Does the sight of colorful food excite anyone else? These are the rainbow paleo delights I’ve been nomming on this week. I didn’t include the random boiled eggs I keep shoveling into my mouth, but I think you are starting to get a ballpark estimate of the multitude of eggs I devour on the reg. My personal fave was the paleo-fied nova lox going on up there. Perhaps I’ll blog about it one day (hint: it’s stupid easy). So I’ve made it to day 4 of no sugar and I’ve only broken down crying once and it was because of this video no less. There’s just nothing like a choreographed Britney dance to get those tears flowing. I don’t know. WHATEVER. Here are some more photos from my week because why not?
The view from Billy Goat Hill, a photo for Beauty Buzz Daily, the view from my ‘office’, a random art installation on the sidewalk of SF, Dude Baby getting milk drunk (chug, chug, chug!) and me rocking the goofy yellow pants and rubber boots. It’s been a lovely week and in one week from today I will be on my way to Florida to see my family!!! Yes, three exclamation points were necessary for that sentence. And since it’s Friday and I watched “Frozen” twice this week (jk, I actually cried three time), we’re going to rock out to “In Summer” because that’s just how I roll.
Happy Friday!

Things we should stop doing.

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Hating on selfies. We’re all a little egotistical, it comes with being human (and a blogger). If you’re not into being photographed it’s easy to make fun of people duck-facing it up on the regular, but don’t pretend like you’d rather see pictures of your friends’ yard/car/cat/stamp collection than their faces. Show me a cute outfit or seatbelt selfie over your 500 ultrasound pictures any day. And if you just hate seeing photos, maybe rethink your social media presence. Maybe stick to Twitter?

Being surprised by how early Christmas decorations come out on shelves. They’re all going to skip Thanksgiving and maybe Halloween too. That’s just how it works. I’m sorry you hate it, but you told me you hated it last year and the year before, and I’d prefer if you refrained from telling me again this year. Obviously there’s a demand for it, and if one store does it all the others are going to also. That’s how competition works. Just avert your sensitive eyes and choke down the urge to rage about it on all your social media channels. #weknow
Freaking out about Photoshop. I get it. I don’t want unrealistic expectations to be handed down to impressionable young ladies (and fellas) either, but on the other hand I would be furious if I was on the cover of a magazine and they didn’t bother to blur out a massive zit in the middle of my forehead. Yes, flaws are real and beautiful, but Photoshop is also an amazing tool. I don’t think it should be demonized as this self esteem crushing robot. It does some really wonderful things too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a proponent of creating thigh gaps where there are none, but for every person using her megaphone to yell about how photos should be untouched, there’s a whole army of people demanding perfection as we have defined it. 
Ranting about the slutty things former Disney child stars do. It’s happened again and again and again. It seems to me that there’s a flaw in the way we as a society treat young Hollywood actors and not how innocent babies with such potential transform into monsters overnight. I suggest you don’t cut your kid’s childhood short by forcing them into acting or attack the system, but either way it’s not that shocking. Oh, and if they’re such terrible role models, don’t let your kids watch TV (my family didn’t have cable until I was in high school-ish. They’ll survive.) 
Talking about how hot, cold, rainy, windy, snowy it is outside. Granted you might just be informing friends from far away living in a vastly different climate than you are, but for the most part we’re quite familiar with the seasons. When it’s summer, it’s hot outside. When it’s winter, it’s cold. Except when it’s not in, in which case global warming is scary (and a far more interesting topic!). When it’s spring, sometimes it’s still cold and you’re really pissed about it. I know. Your friends know. Let’s talk about dinosaurs instead.
Being so surprised when young people do awesome things. It’s condescending. Amazing people do amazing things and age is rarely a factor. In fact, I think I did far more awesome things when I was 10 than I do now. Do you know how many books, drawings, songs and radio shows I created back then? A lot. Do you know how many I’ve created in my twenties? None. 
Negging. If you’re unfamiliar, Urban Dictionary defines it as, “Low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances.” I’m told this technique is effective (and taught in a book called “The Game”.. vom) and this bothers me very much, but not as much as it bothers me when guys try it on me. Needless to say, I am not receptive to it, but it recently came to me in an epiphany that I do not owe a random person who walked up to me at a bar anything. It is my first instinct to be sweet and friendly to a stranger who wants to talk, but I don’t have to engage in a negative back and forth and neither do you. Next time someone strikes up a conversation with you and you find it to be insulting, just know that you can and should walk away.
Defining people by the job that they do. Why is the first thing we ask when we meet people, “What do you do?” It’s a way of putting people into boxes, and I didn’t realize how much I resent it until recently. Next time you meet someone, do me a favor and ask, “What makes you happy?” instead. What does it matter what you do to make money unless that thing is also what makes you happy? I’m starting to think these two things don’t have to be connected and therefore you shouldn’t be defined by the less important one.
Putting so much pressure on ourselves. Nobody has it all figured out and if they do, they’re probably bored out of their minds. Enjoy the ride, my friends.
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