One to Nothin'

Just jump

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I’ve noticed a theme among my closest blog circle. We’re busy. We’re not sure how to fit it all in. We started new jobs, chose to pursue new relationships, uprooted our lives and we all put blogging on the back burner. While I think this is healthy and normal, it left me timid. This blank box that I know so intimately and usually spend a significant part of every day brain vomiting in doesn’t feel so familiar anymore. I feel vulnerable when type what I want and stupid when I type what I don’t. I’m nervous. But it’s that bundle of nerves that comes when you climb up really high and you hold a knotted rope in your hands. You know you should just jump. You’ll feel exhilarated and free once you do, but you haven’t quite convinced yourself to do it yet. That’s where I am, in various ways. I’m at the top of the ladder trying to make my stomach stop sloshing around while I visualize it over and over again. The wind rips through my hair, and I feel my legs slam into the glass surface of the water. It’s cold and shocking. I blow out through my nose way more than I need to. Immediately the cold uncomfortable pressure passes and I’m weightless. Yet I’m still at the top holding the rope, too afraid to jump.

Life Updates

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+ I move into my new apartment (!!!) in Oakland tomorrow, and I have two awesome roommates.

+ Ziggy chipped my tooth by smashing her skull into my jaw with excessive excitement. No, I haven’t gone to the dentist and yes, it is noticeable.

+ I ate tempura bacon over the weekend. And corned beef. And mimosas. And the biggest pancakes of my life.

+ I worked an extra 15 hours each week for the past two weeks (& consequently blogged minimally).

+ I taught the Dude Baby how to do a headstand. Kind of.

+ I’m almost done with East of Eden and I still have about three others on my list from my last trip to the book store, but I accidentally bought three more last week.

+ I started a 30-day yoga challenge at Alyssa’s suggestion. I like it; I like it a lot.

+ I will make blogging a priority again soon, but not just yet. Must figure out the WiFi situation at the new pad. Until then, please know I love and appreciate all of you super hard.

Adventures in Portland!

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If you already read Jessi or Brooke’s blog posts today, you might already know about my weekend, but it was epic so I’m going to tell you about it anyway.

In order to combat the ridiculousness going on in this post, I texted one of my blog besties last week and was all, “I’m freaking out, man. Can I come to Portland?” and she was all, “Yea, get over here. Now.” So I packed Ziggy into my car and started driving at 5:30am on Friday and got to hug Jessi for the first time ever at 5:30pm. It was a pretty glorious moment. A moment that was slightly less glorious, but glorious nonetheless, was when I realized that in Oregon they pump your gas for you. HOLLER.

So after hugs and squeals and Ziggy kisses, we started drinking whiskey and eating the biggest, most delicious, NON-vegan sushi ever. Naturally. Barhopping led to shots which led to VooDoo doughnuts which led to a ridiculously long line and a necessary pee stop, which just so happened to be in a strip club. This was completely unintentional, but quite the adventure so we stayed longer than two girls who wandered into a bar to pee should have. When in Portland..

The following morning Jessi got to experience one of my epic hangovers first hand. I barely made it through breakfast (which looked delicious), but I thoroughly enjoyed exploring Powell’s Book Store and that night I got to meet my other bloggy bestie, Brooke and her PIC Bradley while finally coming back to life and nomming my face off on Thai food.

Sunday we hiked Angel’s Rest and Ziggy champed it up even though it was a zillion degrees and we realized that we are officially no longer Floridians.  
That night we got to play with Brooke again for happy hour drinks/appetizers/delicious goat cheese everything and walked around the most adorable streets I’ve ever seen in my life stopping only for chocolate and selfies. The last stop of the night was a dog bar where Ziggy helped herself to table dancing and attacking Jessi’s face with her tongue.
Monday was spent pouting at my steering wheel as Ziggy slept in the passenger seat for 11ish hours because I wanted to stay there forever and ever.
Long story short, I love Portland and these are my people. I’ll be seeing you again very soon, ladies. Thanks for playing with me all weekend!

Things That Have Happened Lately

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I’ll be honest with you guys, I’ve been a negative Nancy lately. Several unfortunate things have happened and I think since then I’ve been emanating negative energy and therefore inviting more unfortunate things to make their way into my life. I think it’s time for the cycle to stop, but first let’s address them so I can then let them go and concentrate on the positive things that have also happened lately.
Here are some of the sucky things that have happened:

A crazy man harassed me on the very last train Sunday night screaming about how I sprayed chemicals in his face and the Feds were going to get me while following me from one car to the next.

I got off the train and went to the wrong parking lot. My panicked self wandered around in the dark with 5% battery left hoping to find my car before the crazy man found me.

I received two rejection e-mails within 24 hours.

I paid $8 for a mediocre teriyaki chicken bowl.

I cracked my iPhone screen and bruised/scraped my whole body in the process.

Old Betty, my car, got stuck in reverse while I was trying to parallel park and she wouldn’t turn back on, so I had to get her towed.

I had to pay about $600 to fix Old Betty.

I had approximately 7 consecutive dreams that my nanny babe started choking while I was watching him.

I had one dream where a man was chasing another man trying to bash his head in with a hammer.

I got hit on by a 17 year old who said, “Damn, you’re old.. like, you’re a full on adult,” when I said, “No, I don’t go to your high school, I’m 25.”

I heard about Robin Williams committing suicide, which was extremely tragic in itself, but then I heard there were people on this earth who think it’s okay to write about how he “didn’t die from a disease” but from “his choice” and how he’s now going to hell, which made me livid.

Here are some awesome things that have happened lately:

I started a new part-time job at Stitch Fix!

I got to go volunteer at Outside Lands on Saturday and Sunday and therefore got to enjoy several concerts including Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Death Cab For Cutie, Courtney Barnett, Lykke Li and The Killers for free.

Macklemore absolutely killed it and even played once his time was up. He didn’t get mad when he tried to crowd surf and they dropped him, instead he just did it again–successfully that time. He also brought Mary Lambert on for “Same Love” right after he had an adorable lesbian couple get engaged on stage. He’s amazing.

I talked with my girl Emma about life for the first time in way too long. It’s amazing what having an encouraging, loving best friend can do.

I ate porcini doughnuts and fried chicken and waffles that were worth the money.

I fell even more in love with Brandon Flowers than I already was. Seriously, I couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky his wife is and how it must affect her watching him perform. I’m such a creep.

I made strangers play Twister.

I watched a random man run up and take a bite of Emma’s pizza.

I’m getting so much closer to finding an apartment, and in the meantime a wonderful family has taken me in.

I might just be going on a spontaneous adventure to meet some of my best friends of the Internetz this weekend (Hiiiii Jessi & Brooke!).

There have been a whole lot of articles since the passing of Robin Williams spreading awareness about the disease that is depression. I hope this will help people who are suffering to seek help and those who are blissfully unaware to understand and have compassion.

Annnnd lastly, I found my new favorite song. Enjoy.

Alternative Song Titles

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Sometimes musical artists who create great songs just really bomb on the title, so that’s what I’m here for today–to rename popular songs with titles that are more appropriate. Enjoy.

“Ironic” by Alanis Morisette — “Unfortunate Coincidences”

Much like with “literally,” there was a snafu in the channels of communication between the literary world and the conversation world when it comes to the word “ironic.” Alanis uses it wrong many times throughout this song that simply describes many unfortunate coincidental events over and over again. Sucks to suck, people of this song!

“Fantasy” by Ludacris — “Igottapee (The UTI Song)”

You can’t roll around in the dirt or do any number of the other ridiculous scenarios Luda suggests in the song without putting yourself at risk for a doozy of a urinary tract infection. Stock up on antibiotics and cranberry juice before you “do the damn thing” with this guy.

“Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-lot — “Baby Got Cellulite”

He says you can do side bends or sit ups, but please don’t lose that butt. Clearly Mr. Mix-a-lot has not heard of the whole squatting for a nice booty concept, so his big old booties are bound to be dimpled. Get it, Mixy. You do you.

“Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey — “Don’t Stop Drinking”

Everyone thinks this is a great song to sing along to because sure, it’s catchy as they come, but also because they’re always drunk when it comes on. No one (except for the new asian frontman) would willingly try to imitate Steve Perry’s vocals sober, so just don’t stop drinking, hold on to that feeling!

“Blinded By The Light” by Manfred Mann’s Earth Band — “Like A Douche”

This song was originally performed by the Boss himself, and Mr. Springsteen did not intend for his lovely song to become one with a (very strange) feminine hygiene product, but the damage has been done. Everyone who has ever sung this song has, whether they realized it and giggled uncontrollably or not, sung “Blinded by the light, revved up like a douche another runner in the night.”

“Whiskey In The Jar” by Metallica — “Musha Ring Dum A Doo Dum A Da”

I’ve never been entirely sure what a “jar-o” was, but what I really never understood was how a band could come to agree on a chorus like “musha ring dum a doo dum a da,” but more power to ’em. I’m personally way jealous of a band that can make such nonsense sound hardcore and catchy at the same time.

What songs do you think deserve alternative song titles?

I confess..

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Shades: Firmoo / Dress: Target / Sandals: Target
-Normally I’m not a fan of sunglasses that show my eyebrows (is that weird?), but these beauties from Firmoo are awesome. If you haven’t checked out this company yet, I encourage you to go grab your first pair for free (there are tons of prescription glasses available as well).
-I ate concrete two minutes into my run yesterday, cracking my iPhone screen for the first time since I got it three years ago and bloodying up my knee and palms. Considering this started happening this time last year, I can’t help but feel that everything is cyclical.. or that I have a neurological disorder. 
-Speaking of cycles, shark week is going to be here early, folks, and I know this because after cracking said screen and bleeding out, I proceeded to sob uncontrollably for the rest of my run. That’s approximately 4.5 miles of crying. In public. 
-I thought 25 would bring with it some level of sophistication, but apparently not. Just me ugly crying next to a lake as happy couples stroll on by and geese shamelessly shit on the sidewalk.
-My scalp is trying to kill me. Death by itch. I need a cone like for dogs except for my hands, I guess, since I could easily still scratch my head while wearing a cone. But on the other hand, how cool would my next #ootd look with a giant white cone around my neck?
-Since I have yet to make the fashionable cone purchase, I lathered my head in coconut oil and now I feel like a greasy, beat up pina colada.
-I’ve eaten tacos every day since Sunday. When I wasn’t eating tacos (I even made one into a “breakfast taco” by adding one egg this morning) I was eating McDonald’s and vegan cheese pizza because apparently I forgot about paleo and also see shark week confession.
What are your confessions? Go link up with Kathy. 
Also linking up with The Pleated Poppy.

Ringing in 25

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Yesterday’s post was meant for Friday–my actual day of birthday–and today’s was meant for yesterday, but that’s what happens when your life is a giant puzzle missing several of the edge pieces (because I always start puzzles from the edges..). It’s just a mess and then someone decides to throw the box out so you can’t even see what it’s supposed to look like. Okay, I’m done with this stupid metaphor. Let’s talk about my weekend.

My lease ended Thursday, so my awesome parents moved the majority of my stuff into storage for me and we spent the night at a hotel where my mom and I drank wine in the pool all night. Yea, my mom is awesome. Then Friday my parents took me out to a birthday brunch where we ate hummus and drank spicy Bloody Marys. Oh, and that brownie (which was certainly not dairy-free but certainly worth the stomach ache) was brought to me for free. Then I tried on ridiculous hats at an antiques store while my birthday present–a new thermometer and nail-in-tire-removal for my car–was brought to fruition (thanks, parents!).

Later that night we made our way to a fancy shmancy hotel near the SF airport and I accidentally dragged my dad (and a couple lovely people) to a vegan sushi restaurant. I’m all for vegan food under normal circumstances, but when it comes to sushi, I want raw fish and fish eggs and spicy mayo and ohmygodsomeoneeatsushiwithmenowplease. Luckily the hotel bartender had already hooked me up with a triple shot of tequila/Kahlua/who knows what else, so I just kept on keepin’ on with my veggies wrapped in rice. Of course then I accidentally brought us to a bar that didn’t have any liquor and I pretty much felt like year 25 was going to be a complete and utter failure until we found a cocktail bar and ate pickles. Clearly pickles make everything right in the world.

Saturday I was hardly even hung over, which is nothing short of a miracle, and the days since then will be explored in a future post. Let’s just say I need to find a couple more puzzle pieces first.

How was your weekend?

25 things I’ve learned in 25 years

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I don’t consider myself a sage by any means, but it turns out as of Friday I’ve been alive for a quarter of a century and I think I’ve picked up a thing or two along the way. Here are 25 life lessons I would give to my younger self if I could:

1. Everything you think about life can and probably will do a complete 360 between ages 20 and 25. Be flexible.
2. Networking is actually really, really important (and doesn’t have to be scary or fake as you previously thought). Embrace your sorority, clubs, events and stay in touch.
3. Baking cookies from scratch is not that difficult and they always taste better. Same goes for most meals. Step away from the microwave.
4. Having a dog is really fun, but it’s a LOT of responsibility and costs more than you ever thought possible. Once you realize this, the dog has already stolen your heart so there’s no going back. Adopt cautiously.
5. Your life will not end if you stop eating cheese. In fact you’ll feel a lot better when you stop inhaling dairy products daily. Put the everything bagel down.
6. Sometimes a degree is just a piece of paper. Think outside of your major.
7. Doctors, teachers, parents are real people and people are not always right. Ask questions and don’t accept everything you read.
8. Sometimes you have to speak up even though it’s hard. Ask for what you want.
9. Dating the wrong people sucks, but it makes for good stories and it helps you figure out what’s right. Don’t settle.
10. Some friends will be there for you always, even when you live 3,000 miles away from them. Cherish them.
11. Some friends are meant to be seasonal and that’s okay. Enjoy the times you had and move on.
12. You start to need your parents more than ever once you move far away from home. You’re really lucky that you have ones who are willing to forgive all those years when you pretended you didn’t. Call often.
13. Traveling changes the way you think about everything. In some ways that makes you feel grateful, disturbed, claustrophobic and excited. Make it happen.
14. Making money is important but it’s not the most important. Be crafty.
15. Trusting your instincts sometimes leads you to a weird place, but trust them anyway. Sometimes the weird places are the best ones.
16. Live music makes you feel more alive than almost anything else. Even more so when you’re sober. Just buy the ticket.
17. Say yes to adventures. When someone asks you to climb a mountain or sleep in a tent, you’re not going to be comfortable or prepared. Do it anyway.
18. Other people are figuring it out too. Sometimes you have to be patient and sometimes you have to walk away. Being alone can be awesome.
19. Time goes by really, really quickly, and all you can do to make it slow down is pay attention and be grateful. Embrace it.
20. Exercise makes you feel better every time. Even though you forget every time. Never stop.
21. Getting your heart broken is one of the worst feelings there is. Remember this when it comes time to break someone else’s.
22. The healing process is arduous. Don’t give up.
23. No matter how angry your family has made you in the past, they’re the ones who are rooting for your future. Treasure them.
24. Reading is cool. Keep doing it and don’t let anyone make you think differently.
25. Fitting in is not going to pay off in the long run. Being true to yourself–even if it makes you an outcast–will. Be you.

I’m sure I’ve learned 25 life lessons just in the past year, and perhaps I’ll contradict all of these in the next 25, but for now this is the best I’ve got. Cheers to a quarter century!

Tri-Valley Foodporn

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For those of you who don’t know the Bay Area very well, let me first tell you that for the past year I haven’t actually lived in San Francisco. There are a bajillion small and big towns around SF that are all considered a part of the Bay Area even though the city itself is a smaller, more crowded concentration of awesomeness surrounded by water. I started out working in Pleasanton and my apartment (which is still mine until tomorrow..) is in Livermore. Dublin and P-town are pretty family-oriented (aka the ‘burbs) but Livermore, my friends, has been severely underrated in my opinion. This place has over 53 wineries (see ’em all here), an adorable downtown area and all three of these towns have amazing food establishments to enjoy. I’ve spent most of my weekends exploring San Francisco, Oakland and Berkeley, but since my parents have been in town I’ve had the perfect opportunity to really get to know my home for the past 15 months. Here are some awesome restaurants to check out in the Tri-Valley area in case you ever find yourself here.
Double Barrel Wine Bar – Livermore, CA
Double Barrel is a super cute little wine bar located in the heart of Livermore’s downtown. It has a fabulous wine selection, seasonal tapas menu, a super friendly staff and lovely outdoor seating. Those sweet potato fries with brown sugar habanero aioli dipping sauce blew my mind until I tried those po boy street tacos from which I literally died because I just couldn’t even. Literally. Fun fact: If you spill red wine all over your pants they will get you a new glass + give you all sorts of supplies to clean up + advice on how to get rid of the stain.
Main Street Brewery – Pleasanton, CA
Main Street Brewery is in downtown Pleasanton (appropriately on Main Street) and has lots of beer on tap including microbrews. I’m not a big beer fan, but this particular strawberry one I didn’t hate. Give me all the girly beers! The seasoned fries are my favorite in all the land though, and their burger selection is impressive. There is often live music and events happening here and there’s usually a number of regulars sitting at the full bar.
The Rock House Pub & Grill – Livermore, CA

This place is off of Portola Avenue in Livermore right next to a similarly named restaurant, Castle Rock, but don’t confuse them. Rock House is kind of hard to get to as you have to drive into a shopping plaza to access the parking lot, it looks kind of rough from the outside and there’s a random gift shop on the side–but don’t let it deter you! These things kept me from trying this place up until a couple months ago when I read all sorts of good Yelp reviews about it and I was very pleased with it once I got my food. There are tons of unique menu items including that spam masubi up there and deviled eggs with beet sauce in addition to their elaborate and delicious burgers.

Posada – Livermore, CA

Posada is located in a shopping plaza off of Murrieta Boulevard, so I never would’ve known it existed if it weren’t for Yelp (I’m obsessed with Yelp, by the way, if you like food and don’t already use it, I highly suggest you get on it). It’s a Tex-Mex tapas restaurant and everything was delicious. Seriously, I didn’t even take a photo of my main entree– The Bay Shrimp + Sweet and Hot Mushrooms— because I was too busy inhaling it. The service was great, the tapas were filling and flavorful and those sangrita drinks were refreshing and pretty to look at.
Handles Gastropub – Pleasanton, CA
I’ve been to Handles a few times and they do brunch like nobody’s business but we had dinner there for my parents’ anniversary and this pear and spinach salad made my heart happy. They make a mean Bloody Mary, their menu is fun and eclectic and their outdoor patio seating is gorgeous. There is often live music here and there are plenty of happy hour specials for drinks and appetizers. Definitely check this place out if you’re in Pleasanton.
CREAM – Livermore, CA
I’ve wanted to try an ice cream sandwich from CREAM ever since I heard they had vegan ice cream options, but the only one I knew about was in Berkeley until recently when they opened one in Livermore! I finally got to try one in celebration of my birthday week last night after waiting in a line that went way out the door and it was everything I could’ve hoped for–warm sugar cookies sandwiching soy blueberry ice cream. Had I been feeling extra saucy I could’ve added some gummy bears in there, but I passed this time. 
Some other places I highly recommend are:
The Last Word – Livermore, CA – Amazing prohibition-era cocktails with local juices. Try the green gin drink even if you don’t like gin, trust me. The chicken and waffle sliders are amaze-balls.
Sauced – Livermore, CA – This country bar has bacon-infused whiskey and tons of whiskey on tap, the ribs fall off the bone and if you’re feeling adventurous try the Elvis burger with peanut butter on it.
First Street Ale House – Livermore, CA – 24 beers on tap, delicious classic ale house food and lollipops with every meal. 
Oasis – Pleasanton, CA – Try the Pumpkin Borani. Oh. Em. Gee. The hummus sampler is also delish.
So who wants to come eat their way through the Bay and gain 20 pounds with me?!

Wine, kites & beaches

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Since Mama and Papa G arrived, we’ve been drinking wine, checking out awesome kites, exploring beaches and bridges, trying to figure out what my next move is and eating a lot of delicious food. There is so much going on at the same time over here and that’s exactly how it was last year too. The good news is, a lot of things are happening on Friday whether I want them to or not: my lease will be officially up and all my possessions will be somewhere, my birthday week will have come to a terrifying quarter century of a conclusion, it might just be my last day with the dude baby and a couple of other very important decisions will have been made. All the emotions, all at once. Wish me luck, my friends. I will need it.
PS: Happy happy 31st anniversary to my wonderful parents! 
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