One to Nothin'

What I Wore

by 6 Comments

Sweater: LA MADE / Scarf: Octavia / Leggings: Target / Boots: Steve Madden

Happy Friday, friends! I got my first box from Stitch Fix the other day and inside of it was this magical scarf. Okay, so I knew it was coming because I picked it out for myself, but it’s just as cozy, beautiful, not-itchy and magical in real life as I hoped it would be. This sweater was also inside and it’s reversible, so it’s kind of like I got two sweaters and if you’ve seen me at all lately then you know that all I want to wear is a different sweater every day always and forever. Well, except when the sun comes out and my house heats up to 80 degrees and I want to wear nothing forever and always. Now that you have that visual in your head (you’re welcome), can we talk about my hair? We’re obviously getting deep on this lovely Friday, but seriously–look at it. The ombre is back (dun dun dunnn). I’ve been battling the blonde for almost three years now. Back in January I implored my stylist to rid my head of the blonde bits for good. She did, but she also warned me that my at-home dye job(s) had lightened the rest of my head and the ombre would be back. She was right, and this is what I get for only getting my hair done once in 10 months. Ain’t nobody got time for haircuts. Aaaand on that note, I’m out of here. In the words of Priory, “it’s the weekend.”

I Confess..

by 5 Comments

I woke up like this. Literally.

I’ve been complaining about the weather. In case you have forgotten, I live in Northern California and I used to live in Central Florida and therefore I have NO RIGHT. But I’ve been doing it anyway. I’m freezing in the morning and I’m sweating my arse off by noon. I just feel so deceived. And to top it off, the iPhone’s software update makes finding the weather forecast a two or even three step process. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

In addition to being a massive brat (see above confession), I have this really strong urge to use excessive italics, bolds and CAPITALS. I don’t understand what’s happening to me. My words just no longer feel expressive enough. Still haven’t resorted to abundant exclamation points though because they really are the WORST.

I watched the pilot episode of “Selfie” last night. I am forever dumber because of it. I can’t get those brain cells back, y’all. Apparently neither could Harold of the & Kumar fame after all that ganja and White Castle consumption.

The other day I got the urge to make macarons of all things. My brain is like, “Oh you’re too busy to make dinner for yourself, do laundry or write your blog posts every day like you’ve been doing for the past three years? Here’s a good idea: Learn how to make the most complicated and useless pastry that you’re not even sure if you like. Think of the Insta-pics!”

I hate the word “basic.” Maybe this is because it’s generally used to describe the type of person I am. But, still. Stop it.

I finished season four of Pretty Little Liars. I love this show. This is a confession in itself, really. They wear great clothes, deliver cheesy lines in the best way possible and constantly put themselves in the sketchiest of circumstances while wearing heels. And I NEED season five. Who can teach me how to watch it from the internet without contracting computer STDs? Has anyone read the books? Should I bother?

Speaking of books, I have approximately 12 on my list right now and accidentally started a new one when I got locked out of my nanny family’s house all day on my last day. Oh, did I not mention that I managed to keep a 14-month-old alive entertained while spending five hours outside in
90+ degree heat? #champion

What do you confess? Go link up with Kathy.

On wiener schnitzel & beer

by 5 Comments

This weekend I drank beer. Actual, real life beer and not even on accident. One of my roomies and I decided last minute to hit up Oakland’s ‘Oaktoberfest’ and I now have a commemorative stein because of it. I even found wiener schnitzel and did a happy dance while I squeezed lemon everywhere and a small child tried to steal my beer. So if you are not intimately familiar with the inner workings of my brain, perhaps you don’t already know that I super hate beer and I super love wiener schnitzel. I generally think beer takes like urine (or what I imagine urine tastes like), and I generally think breadcrumbed meat drenched in lemon juice tastes like heaven (or what I imagine heaven tastes like). But really though, it’s my favorite food, and yes, it is traditionally made out of poor innocent baby cows, but that’s not why I like it (STOP JUDGING ME). My dad makes it with adult cows, the kinds with mortgages and briefcases, and that somehow makes it more okay. Whatever. It’s delicious and so was that french toast. I even managed to drink three full glasses of beer in bajillion degree heat and survived until 5pm when I fell asleep and didn’t emerge until the next day. I’m practically an old cow about to be turned into burger meat, amiright?

Lately I..

by 2 Comments

Took Ziggy for a ridiculously beautiful run in a cemetery where I walked up the majority of the hills because dayummm. 
Attended an art show/concert with glowing things in an abandoned warehouse on a pier in San Francisco where I ate a naan burger and a stupid manboy tried to hit on me. He told me a story about a girl he went on a date with who had a mole with hair growing out of it and how he bailed once he discovered it. Then he tried to bite my necklace because it “looked like candy,” and was genuinely surprised when I wouldn’t give him my number.
Remembered that dudes are the worst.
Adopted a succulent family and Hampton got a new backpack.
Drank too many greyhounds made with freshly squeezed grapefruit juice and hated my life all day the next day. All freaking day. 
Briefly considered joining the Blogtober challenge (where you post every day in October) just to get back into the habit of coming here and writing things each day..
And then I didn’t.
Started my new job (!!).
Went to the DMV and had a PMS-induced breakdown, but Betty the Blazer is officially registered in California. 
Patted myself on the back for buying that pink tool kit for the 554th time.
Ate a bunch of chocolate, watched a bunch of Shakira music videos and sang a bunch of Mandy Moore songs.
Laughed ’til I cried with my roomies.
Struggled (/am still struggling) to get all my hours for my part-timer in.
Finished The Vacationers (because when I’m overwhelmed I do things like read or sing crap 90s pop songs) and thought it was meh.

Learned how to play poker!
Started cooking paleo meals again.
Painted my nails for the first time in a stupid long time.
Almost cried, like, 12 times while taking the dude baby to our last baby class together.
..I think that about sums it up. What have you been up to lately?

Jewelry Display DIY

by 7 Comments

I think working from home on the computer on non-blog related things (did I mention I technically have three jobs right now?) has stifled my blogging creativity something fierce. When I finish my hours, the last thing I want to do is spend more of them in front of my beloved macbook, so yesterday I decided to get my DIY on instead. 
I found an old picture frame by the recycling. I don’t think I’ve gone into this much yet, but it turns out my new apartment has a home goods genie. Every time I think I need to go buy something, it appears on the curb or by the dumpster or in the recycling bin. I kid you not, the second we started putting furniture into our living room we realized we had a TV but no stand for it, and as soon as we walked outside, a TV stand appeared on the curb. Later on in the day a different TV stand with a working TV on it appeared on a different but equally close curb. Since then I’ve seen Lazyboy chairs, dining room tables, dish drying racks–all things we purchased or already had in our apartment so we didn’t take, but it still validated my genie theory. Anyway, this time I found a frame shortly after I decided I needed to display my jewelry even if I rarely wear it.
Here’s what I used:
An empty picture frame
A window screen
A glue gun
Several small nails
A hammer
A frame hanger
First I pried the window screen out and cut it to the size of the frame, then I stretched it across the back of the frame and glued it down along the sides. My screen wasn’t big enough to fit the whole frame, so I had to fit two pieces together–hence the awkward line across the middle. Imperfection is my middle name.
Then I measured five equidistant spots along the bottom of the frame to hammer in my tricked out gold nails for necklace/ring/bracelet hanging.

Finally I nailed the hanger into the wall and threw my jewelry all over it. Ta da! I’m pretty stoked that my room is starting to have some personality, especially since my poor baby stick antlers were a casualty in the move. Shall we take a room tour soon? I think yes!

Cloudy skies & new opportunities

by 5 Comments

It was slightly overcast throughout the entire weekend and although I managed to adventure, eat delicious food and interact with lovely humans (and Ziggy), it was almost as if everyone I encountered was physically and emotionally burdened by the clouds. I think it would be different if they just let the moisture out. Much like when I’m stressing and just can’t find an outlet. It’s bottling up the turmoil instead of just letting the tears flow, it’s trying to save face but really just making everyone bummed. Bummed because we’re in a drought and also because life is hard, and it doesn’t seem quite as hard when the sun is out. Or even when you can really settle into your sadness. It’s the difference between drinking hot tea and listening to Bright Eyes while it pours out and the overwhelming bleakness that comes without warning and makes you hate the idea of getting out of bed while it’s grey out. Or maybe I’m just pathetic fallacy-ing all over the place.

The point is, my roommate and I went on a hike later in the afternoon of one of these dreary days and it wasn’t until I felt the fresh air deep in my lungs that I realized I was brooding all morning. I had no tangible or imminent reason to, but I carried an invisible weight and I didn’t even know I was doing it. As I felt the burn in my legs and saw how beautiful the clouds and fog looked settling over the city, I felt it lift. I remembered the excitement and squealing sounds that radiated from me throughout the previous week. The nerves and the burden were there as I prepared for interviews, as I walked up to the foreign buildings and spoke to unfamiliar faces, and the butterflies and goofy grins were there upon hearing “You got the job,” twice in one week. I finally got to accept, and call (almost) everyone, and use all the exclamation points, and feel that sense of accomplishment that comes with landing a job I actually went to college for.

It’s amazing the perspective I gain just by wandering off into nature. I used to run the same route around the same residential neighborhoods and in the same park I frequented since I was a toddler. That was my way of clearing my head. It worked back then, but now I’m afraid I ruined that sort of escape for myself. Then I didn’t know what it was like to find a new trail every time I tried, to see new views of amazing landscapes with every hike, to see the same view look completely different just because Carl the Fog made an appearance or to be excited by the sight of a bridge.

It’s also amazing the changes life has in store when you simply make room for them.

Anyone who has ever transitioned knows it’s difficult. It’s especially difficult when each time you start to feel settled, you have to start over again. That’s where I found myself every six months or less in the past year and a half, but recently I decided to stop floating along and letting the current direct me. It’s scary to make decisions without a smart plan backing them up, but so far those are the best decisions I’ve made.

And even when they backfire, the sun comes out and I remember that I can always just go hiking.

Confessions

by 11 Comments

Hello friends! It feels like such a long time since I aired my dirty laundry for your entertainment, so here I am with some humpday confessions. What better way to break my silence/weekend-post-only streak than with some embarrassing factoids about little old me? Yeah, okay, here goes.

-I had my first pumpkin flavored latte today and told myself I wasn’t just like all the other generic white females because a) I wasn’t wearing yoga pants at the time and b) it was from Peet’s, not Starbucks. Then I took a selfie and realized they were lies, but I enjoyed every second of it.

-I started a free trial at a gym near my apartment and since I haven’t lifted weights or done much strength training at all besides yoga here and there in the past couple months, I literally couldn’t lift as much as the 80-year-old woman doing the circuit in front of me.

-I also didn’t bring a towel. ALL the sweat on ALL the machines.

-The other night I flirted with a server via credit card receipt. Because I’m 12.

-I was on a treadmill facing a huge window facing the street and while sweating my beet red face off, said server walked by. I’m 79% sure he recognized me.

-While practicing back bend kick overs the other day (because I’m constantly preparing for a fictitious gymnastic meet), I smashed my shins into a chair. It hurt like a mofo, but the bruises have not been nearly as impressive as the pain continues to be. I find this weirdly disappointing.

-There are a lot of serious blog topics floating around my brain and notes app lately, but I can’t bring myself to start them, so I imagine hitting ‘publish’ once I finish any of them will be that much more difficult.

-I finally got the demon watch to stop beeping at me every night and I didn’t even use a hammer!! This is not a confession so much as a truly great accomplishment.

-I keep listening to the same music on Spotify over and over. Can someone please send me a playlist full of new music, every song of which will blow my mind? That would be great. Thanks.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Happy humpday! Go link up with Kathy.

Weekend Snapshots

by 5 Comments

My weekend had Bay Area written all over it, and not just because that’s where I spent it. Friday night Emma and I went to Something Completely Different, an art show in Oakland that I enjoyed not only because I love art but also because I love clever names. The featured artists are well known in the area, and for this show they tried a totally different style, medium, form of art than they usually work with. You can see some of the pieces here. After feasting on giant burgers and onion rings at Fenton’s, we went to bed so we could rise bright and early for a morning of yoga and charity at the Yoga For Change event at the beautiful Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. The proceeds went to the community preschool and I got to take my first historic cable car ride to get there, so double win. Afterward we wore our yoga pants to the Embarcadero Center Cinema to watch Boyhood while eating gourmet chocolate in reclining seats. This is real life. Then since it was best friend date weekend, we hung out with Ziggy at Lake Merritt and watched annoyingly adorbz couples do yoga together in the grass. So in case you were wondering if living in Northern California for the past year and a half was starting to rub off on me, the answer is a resounding hella yes.

Casa De Cow Nectar

by 5 Comments

As I scanned through my massive photo roll on my phone, it occurred to me that I neglected to blog about moving day, so here goes. 
I sweated profusely as I whined mused about how there has never been a time in my life where it was less than 90 degrees out on the day I moved heavy objects in or out of a domicile. It all started my first summer semester of college in July of 2007. Granted I was electrocuted with excitement and too busy entertaining thoughts of red solo cups, frat parties and ohmygodnocurfews to notice the one hundred percent humidity I was swimming through on that summer day in Florida. I’m sure my parents noticed.
Then move out at the end of that summer actually fell on a day where it alternated between extreme heat and wicked thunderstorms. This pattern continued each year, and while maybe some regions still have a springy breeze or two around May, in Florida that ish is straight summertime. All this makes sense for someone who is going to school and operates on the schedule of semesters and things, but I moved to California in April and since I was going to the “Bay Area” I figured there would be fog and cold and I wore long sleeves, jeans and boots as my sister and I hauled all my clothes into my cousin’s house in 95 degree heat. Of course I signed my lease three months later and moved in on a hotter day and moved out 12 months later  on an even hotter day. All of this complaining would be unwarranted except that I keep moving to in-between places, dragging out the hellish heat moves. For three weeks after my Livermore lease came to an end, I stayed with a family in a sweet house in Fremont for three weeks before last Tuesday. And that’s where this whole convoluted story begins.
I packed up the meager amount of things I brought to live for those three weeks–three suitcases of clothes and my dog essentially–and decided to save the routine backyard dog poop pickup for last. I spent a good 20 minutes telling myself dog turds were like treasure and actually got kind of excited the more full the bag got until I ran out of room and headed in for a new bag. At this point I realized I totally locked myself out. I had my phone, luckily, so after bitching about my current situation to anyone who would listen via text while haphazardly looking for hidden keys, I tried to squeeze through the doggy door. Turns out while sausage dogs can navigate that territory with no problem, I cannot. I was pretty much golden from my toes up until I tried to squeeze my butt through. Perhaps b&e requires some level of pancake ass in order to be successful. Either way I was back to sitting on the ground texting and willing Ziggy to unlock the door. Eventually I found a screen that was removable and I got it out successfully. Then it was time to open the window, which is a lot easier from the inside, so perhaps I got a little overzealous when pushing the window pane up and it came all the way out of the frame knocking a glass vase full of decorative glass into beautiful glittering shards of glass all over the dining room floor.
This impressive crashing noise combined with my climbing through a now-non-existent window resulted in the neighbor giving me major side eye, so I spent the next hour sweeping and trying to fit a window pane back into its frame while listening for sirens. Luckily they didn’t come, and my only guess is that I looked like such an amateur that there was no way I could possibly be a real criminal–which gives me an idea. What if I just started robbing people in the most ridiculous ways to the point where no one would believe it was real life? People could reverse profile me all day. I’d be on my way to some shmancy house with a backpack on to steal some jewels and people would be like “Aww, I bet she bought that backpack because her high school load is heavy this year. I hope she studies hard and gets into a good college!” and I’d be like “Ha! Suck it!”
Anyway… After breaking into and therefore breaking everything in the house, I finished loading things into my car and drove to my new home. I met one of my roommates IRL for the first time (this is a common theme for me lately), we surrendered all our money, signed the lease and I recruited help to transport my bed and dresser from storage. Finally around 10pm I had proper bedroom furniture and my very own place to live and we all celebrated with wine and Thai food takeout. If you’ve never eaten Thai food on the floor of an unfurnished apartment with awesome people, I highly recommend it. It was pretty magical. 
Since moving in, I named the apartment “Casa De Cow Nectar” as an ironic take on two of three roomies’ lactose intolerance, worked a lot, set up wifi, took my first terrifying trip to Ikea, built a table, cooked my first meal in my own kitchen, read, explored cemeteries, cafes, bars and watched a bunch of chick flicks. This place is great, my roommates are fun and I feel good. I think this is the beginning of an exciting year. Who wants to come visit?!

Filed Under: lol

Pinterest
Instagram
Tiktok