One to Nothin'

Like Capri Sun But Better

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The rad Portland couple behind Wine2Go contacted me a few weeks ago to see if I’d like to try out their products. As soon as I saw the word “wine” I was already down, but I was extra stoked when I saw that they include handwritten notes and play tic-tac-toe with their customers. As a person who once poured a bottle of wine into my work water bottle to play on the beach in Carmel (surprise, it was wine!), I know how disgusting it is trying to then drink water out of it the next day at the gym. I love wine, but when I’m on the treadmill I need my water to not taste like chardonnay. Enter Wine2Go, a foldable wine bottle that holds an entire bottle for easy transport. It’s kind of perfect for me since I never ever remember to bring a wine opener. There’s also Flask2Go, which I’ve not yet tried to fill with liquor (and after that Cinco de Mayo methinks I will be filling that shit with Gatorade ifyouknowwhatImean), but I’m fairly certain I could fit those inside a purse pocket if necessary. These guys are reusable and super easy to wash, so basically you’re going to see them making appearances at all my outdoor adventures this summer. Go get you one!

Things I learned over the weekend

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A long, long time ago when all my internet friends still blogged (and I used to spend my weekends making lactose-free banana splits and watching Redbox movies with my dog.. ahem..) we used to participate in a link up called “Things I Learned Over the Weekend.” I think it was because no one actually likes reading weekend recaps, but ha! Joke’s on me ’cause apparently that’s all I do now. Anywho, let’s talk about what I learned over those three sacred days, shall we?
I learned that I don’t take photos of girls night when I’m busy demanding the attention of the room with every update/thought/idea that pops into my head.
I learned that I do not like walking into clubs by myself. Hey girl. Where’s your boyfriend? No, really. Where’s he at? Hey! Hey. NO.
I learned that even while intoxicated I am very conscious of not consuming the sour cream sneakily living in my burrito–and by conscious of it, I mean make as big a mess as possible while still consuming all of the sour cream and by my burrito, I mean my boyfriend’s.
I learned I can, in fact, fit an entire bottle of wine into my new Wine2Go foldable wine bottle, but more on that later.
I learned that soju is a sorry excuse for a vodka substitute, but Portal is my new favorite Oaktown brunch spot regardless.
I learned that Ziggy’s just using me for my food. I guess I knew that already.
I learned that people care about boxing?

I learned that golf is actually kind of fun, but I did not need to learn that I would suck super hard at it.

I learned that if you miss the ball and end up spinning around in a full 360 (multiple times) and you’re sore all over the next day, you’re probably doing it wrong.

I learned that Chubby Noodle does unlimited dim sum and mimosas until 3pm on Saturdays and Sundays. And that I freaking love dim sum.

I learned that I clearly have zero self-restraint on weekends (oh hai, bikini bod).

I learned that the Orpheum theater is super rad and that “Book of Mormon” is wow-I’m-definitely-going-hell-if-there-is-one-peed-my-pants funny.

Those were my weekend lessons. Did you learn anything this weekend? Do share.

Weekend Things

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JESSI CAME TO VISIT!!!
If you follow me on Instagram, you already knew that and if you follow me on Snapchat, then you know too much. The only thing that makes it okay that it’s taken me this long to recap our weekend is that fact that she hadn’t blogged for, like, 20 days before this post. Thanks for setting the bar high for me, lady. 
These photos are completely out of order; we spent all weekend being basic bitches, so the least I could do was forget chronology in favor of grouping photos by color scheme. Friday night I tried to pick her up from the train station and instead told her to walk down a sketchy alley way because I’m the worst. I found her eventually and we drank lychee martinis like the classy bloggers we are before drinking herbal beer and getting stalked by a creeper who followed us to all the Oakland bars while he quietly laughed along to our jokes and sipped on his drinks–by himself–from a distance. The other creeper we encountered was this dog photo, which now lives with me. Saturday we waited to sit down for a bottomless mimosa brunch for two hours. Yes, two freaking hours in San Francisco, where the weather is unpredictably windy/cold/foggy and poor Oregonians come prepared for sunshine and palm trees (sorry, friend).
1,568 mimosas and two (plus?) hours later, we found ourselves wandering tipsily through the Mission with my very sober friends who chose not to get their money’s worth of guava and OJ mixed champagne. We ate chocolate samples, admired a great variety of taxidermy and eventually went dancing before taking photos outside the bar with that dude up there. Needless to say we slept through book club the next morning (sorry, Sarah! I swear we read the book!).

Eventually we powered through the hangovers and explored Fort Funston with Ziggy. We found the coolest shrine to beach trash, Jessi found the perfect sand dollar (that now lives with me too) and walked about nine miles chatting about life and boys (mostly boys). Then she left me for Portland and I cried into Ziggy’s fur all night. Come back now, please! Thanks for playing with me!

Who’s coming to visit me next? I swear I’ll better prepare you for the weather.. maybe.

Friday Fitness

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I mentioned on Monday that I started the Tone it Up Bikini Series, but today I wanted to talk more about it.. because it’s Friday and I can. I’ve been obsessed with the Tone it Up ladies since right before moving to California. Many of the workouts that went into my 2013 Operation: Shakira Bod attempt were from them because they have a bajillion free workout videos on YouTube (and they’re super hot, obviously). At that time I was working out in a tiny room with a bed that actually took up 7/8 of the room. I would sweat all over my laptop and Ziggy would insist on getting involved any time I was in plank position. The following year, I participated in the Bikini Series again trying to follow along with all the free workouts and trying not to bust my ass reaching 100 miles by summer. My workout space was a larger room with my own bathroom, but in order to afford said apartment, I was on a strict budget.

If you’re not familiar with Tone it Up, one of the coolest things about it is the community it builds. There are meet-ups all around major cities all the time and the trainers themselves often take to Instagram to ‘like’ your Insta-check-ins. Anyway, I figured after three years of dedication to the Tone it Up cult, I should take advantage of being in a semi-secure time of my life and just go for it. So I bought the TIU Nutrition plan and it came with everything from the Beach Babe DVD (with 6 or so full workouts) to TIU branded socks. Obviously I was smitten. As a person who doesn’t often (read: never) spend money on fade diets or workout programs, I’m feeling pretty dedicated to this program. Each year I’ve seen results just from doing the workouts, and this year I’m ready to look, feel and be better by changing the food I put into my body as well as the intensity of my workouts.

I’ve eaten more vegetables in the last two weeks than perhaps ever in my life. I’ve experimented with paleo in the past, trying to figure out what is exactly is wrong with my stomach, sometimes feeling like it was a complete success and other times a total failure, but if you go back far enough in the archives here, you’ll find me experimenting with vegan cooking on the reg. Basically I love learning. I was bored with cooking meat all the time (and the gross heartbreak of watching it go bad in my fridge), and this fish-and-tofu-and-veggie heavy program has been a breath of fresh air. I love eating oatmeal in the morning and snacking on hummus in the afternoon. I haven’t felt hungry because I’m constantly eating and every week your check-ins on social media give you the chance to win various goodies from the TIU ladies. It’s like a big healthy game and I kind of love it.

Okay, I’m done defending my life choices. Are any of you guys participating in the Bikini Series this year? It’s not too late if you’d like to join me. I plan to keep track of my workouts here on Fridays to keep myself on track, and I’ll link to the free ones if you want to follow along. Here’s what the past two weeks have looked like:

Bikini Series Week 1 Recap:
Monday: Frisky Fall, Ultimate Bootycall (30 min HIIT)
Tuesday: The Mermaid
Thursday: 3-mile run, TIU Booty, Beach Arms (Beach Babe 3)
Friday: Insane Cardio HIIT
Saturday: 6-mile SF urban hike
Sunday: 13-mile Marin Headlands hike

Week 2 Recap:
Monday: Beach Bombshell (total body toning)
Wednesday: HIITy Bitty Bikini, 3-mile run
Thursday: Ultimate Bootycall (30 min HIIT)
Friday: Caribbean Kettlebell Workout, Bikini Arms

Happy Friday! How are you guys getting ready for bikini season?

PS: Another virtual trainer I’ve been in love with a long, long time is Cassey Ho of Blogilates and I just wanted to share this article. Just to clarify: when I said “bikini bod” I mean a body that’s healthy, strong and makes you feel confident. I am never referring to “thigh gap” or a certain number on the scale. I love working hard for results but I do NOT think it’s ever okay to judge or body shame anyone (even if they’re Insta-famous or celebrities). Every body is beautiful.

Summertime Obsessions

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Compensation was provided by Canyon Beachwear for this post. All opinions, however, are solely mine.

As if yesterday’s post wasn’t a dead giveaway, I’m ready for summer. I want to strut out the door wearing nothing but a short dress, bikini and floppy hat without a second thought about sweaters for later. I want umbrellas in my drinks and Birkenstocks on my feet. One of the things I miss most about Florida (and there aren’t many..) is warm water. I can get to the ocean way easier these days; it’s everywhere and it’s beautiful but it’s cold. Like, not I’m-a-Floridian-turned-Californian-and-I-think-everything’s-cold cold, but really-freaking-cold-unless-you’re-a-polar-bear cold. One thing I can do, however, is look as put together as I want while visiting the beach knowing that I’m more than likely not going to be getting wet or sweating my makeup off or melting my nail polish with bugspray (but really). Chances are I still won’t be wearing much makeup, but accessories and cute suits? That I can do. Here are some of the summertime fashionable items I’m coveting.

1. This Canyon Beachwear coverup is that color I’ve been obsessing over for probably too long now. Plus its bell sleeves, embroidery and under-boob tassels are everything. Get it here. 

2. I’ve gone too long without owning a pair of perfectly circular Lennon shades. These light ones from Free People are just different enough to make me heart eyed.

3. This ruffle-y itty bitty bikini from Canyon Beachwear looks like the pattern mixing beauty my post-Bikini-Series bod has been dreaming of. Check out more of their designer swimsuits here.

4. Stackable rings are still very much my jam. Get these ocean flavored ones here. 

5. Madden Girl never ceases to make my shoe fettish flourish. These Birk-esque sandals with gold straps are exactly the summer sandal I’ve been looking for.

6. This hat is not even slightly within my budget, but we can dream, right? Let’s be honest, I need that blanket under it more than anything.

7. Pretty, gold, delicate and weird is pretty much my jewelry M.O. Check it here.

8. Best for last, y’all. This crochet in the middle one-piece is so, so very beautiful. If I were capable of tanning, maybe it would be an issue but as it is, I need it on me immediately. Check out the rest of Frankie’s Swimwear here.

What do you need to have on you this summer?

Watermelon Cake DIY

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When I think of watermelons, I think of hot, summer days spent belly flopping into the pool, floating alongside the bobbing green spheres. We would try to balance on top of them. We’d throw them into the chlorine and squeal at the enormous splash. We’d compete to see who could get to the rind the fastest and we’d spit the seeds as far as we could. Every now and again we’d see vines sprout up from the dirt and we’d religiously check as the tiny melon started to grow. Water balloons. Noodle fights. Bubbles, sunscreen and ice cream sundaes. Shaving cream parties on the trampoline and finger (or toe) painting in the garage. These are the flashes that come to me with the scent of that first slice of a watermelon. So this cake, baked with love for my watermelon-obsessed roommate, is dedicated to summer and all the warm memories it evokes for you.

Here’s what you need:
Boxed white cake (cheater, cheater)
Vanilla icing
Red and green gel food coloring
Chocolate chips (I used the fat ones)
Brown sprinkles (hindsight 20/20)
Rolling pin
Knife
Ziplock bag
Round cake pan
A package of fondant
Aluminum foil
I wanted this cake to be an immersive experience. I wanted everyone to convince themselves that it tasted like watermelon because it looked so much like one. I don’t think it worked, but this is why I dyed the cake batter pink and dropped chocolate chips into it before baking. The chocolate chips backfired, however, so I recommend using brown sprinkles inside the batter so it’ll be more like funfetti and less like the bottom of your cake fell off (read: there’s no bottom to this cake). 
While the cake baked according to the fancy box’s instructions, I kneaded the fondant and dyed it green. This was a messy process, but I just went with it. Next, I sprinkled aluminum foil with powdered sugar and rolled the fondant out with a rolling pin. When it was about 1/4″ thick, I sliced it with a sharp knife to resemble a rind and estimated the perimeter of the cake, shortening afterward as necessary. From there I poured about 1/2 cup white icing into a Ziplock bag and dyed the rest of it pink.
Once the cake finished baking and cooled completely, I covered it in pink icing, wrapped it with the green fondant, filled the gap with white icing along the perimeter and strategically placed fat chocolate chips on top.

And there you have it, summer in cake form. What’s summer to you?

Alt-J, Bikini Series & Hikes of Epic Proportions

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Life is busy and crazy and full right now, and yet I still feel that twinge of emptiness whenever I neglect this little space. It’s a weird feeling. I laugh at myself when I feel that disappointment of opening one of my favorite blog’s homepage and seeing familiar content staring back at me, knowing very well that my last post is 10 days old. Basically I miss you guys. Please don’t leave me.

In the past 10 days (from top left clockwise) I had my last vegan ice cream cone before starting the Tone It Up Bikini Series. Oh, it’s on, my friends. This is week two and I’ve been sore non-stop. I saw Alt-J in concert and it was as intense and awesome as I thought it would be. I took photos of dogs just as much as I usually do. That one hanging out the sunroof really got me though. #Icanteven

I spent Saturday being a tourist in San Francisco. I showed some newbs (I’ve been here for two years as of Sunday and I know more about the city than some other people now! What is this madness?!) the sea lions on Pier 39, the parrots on the Filbert steps, Lombard Street and wandered around Coit Tower–it was essentially a 6-mile urban hike. I also cooked a Tone It Up-approved brunch for the roomie and boy before our adventures and it was well received (Ziggy liked it too).

My girl, Emma, turned 26 on Sunday and we celebrated with a 13ish-mile hike in the Marin Headlands where we shivered downhill into the fog and sweated uphill to perfect sunny, blue skies.

Afterward we nommed on my homemade rainbow layered cake and champagne before passing out from exhaustion. Oh, and my first article for Brit + Co went up on Friday! Check it out here. It was a pretty spectacular weekend and the week leading up to it was filled with meal prep, workouts and lots of work. I loved it, but I might be ready to sleep for 48 hours straight. When is national nap day..? Happy Monday, friends!

DIY Succulent Pots

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I can’t tell you the exact moment that I turned into my mother, but I can tell you the transformation was recent and that it’s done a number on my apathy toward plants.

I remember my dad pulling over on road trips so she could hop out of the car (to the sound of my sister and I grumbling and eye-rolling) to take photos of plants growing wild next to the highway. This has been an ongoing theme for as long as I can remember. Mom lugs around her giant camera (which was finally switched to the digital realm a few years ago) and snaps away at growing things. On her most recent trips to California, I lost count of the gasps followed by, “Can you believe there’s wild fennel growing right here next to a dumpster?!” followed by crushed up green stuff under my nose. 


I’ve always loved the smells and the tastes of herbs, but I’m historically anti-flowers. Not that I don’t think they’re pretty, they’re just impractical and not in the shoe pretty-but-impractical kind of way because that I can get behind. I just don’t like watching something so pretty wilt so quickly before my eyeballs. I never inherited my mom’s green thumb, so anything I try planting will wilt fairly quickly before my eyeballs, but there’s just something about these little green guys that makes me want to keep trying. I don’t reject everything that deteriorates over time. Take humans, for example; I like some of them. And much like the depressing topic of the human body’s deterioration, succulents die on me, but they do it slowly. Props to you normal people who can get them thriving, but me? I’m just stoked that my fuzzy cactus is still alive from Valentine’s Day.

Are your v-day roses still alive? Didn’t think so.

The point is, I never thought a giant sign for a “Dry Garden” would make me as excited as it did the other day when I bought these little plant babies. I never thought that I’d be the one yelling at the driver to pull over so I could take photos on the side of the road with my own giant camera, and I might even have more flower photos than selfies on my camera roll this week. Maybe.

So with a big old dose of wishful thinking and in celebration of these new additions to my family, I painted the flower pots I bought when I first moved into this apartment. 
Two little ones and one slightly bigger one. I just started painting them with light blue and white acrylic paint since those two and gold are pretty much the only colors I ever want to decorate with.
Several coats and a bad Zac Efron movie later, I added details in black.
I guess this is pretty straight forward as far as DIY projects go, but I figured I’d show the process anyway. I’m kind of into the whole geometric pattern mixed with imperfect brush strokes thing, so I went for it.

Now I just have to start my air plant collection and learn how to macrame so I can cross over into full-blown hipster/granny territory. But seriously, those are both things I want to do.

The past week in photos

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Somehow the first week of April already arrived and departed and I forgot how to handle my blife (bloglife).
Here are some of the highlights/accomplishments/failures you missed out on (you can decided which one is which):
+ I went hiking and both of my hiking partners turned into monkeys climbing up this giant tree.
+ I bought a bunch of new succulent babies that maybe I won’t kill?

+ I spent many hours reading Eleanor & Park for bookclub and finished 20 minutes into the discussion.

+ My iPhone died 10 minutes after my (late) arrival to the Google hang because I killed the battery by reading all day.
+ During the marathon reading sesh, I baked a cake for my roomie’s birthday but thought that chocolate chips would be cute inside the batter. Actually they just sank to the bottom and left me with a bottomless cake.
+ Monday was the roomie’s birthday celebration at a bowling joint and I thought it would be a good idea to bring a giant butcher knife to cut the cake.
+ I was informed I’m not allowed to bring giant butcher knives into bowling alleys.
+ I was also informed that I’m not allowed to bring cakes into establishments that serve food.
+ I bowled a 70.

+ I stayed up until 3am trying to finish an assignment that I ended up not finishing anyway.
+ I thought I was going to get murdered while trying to drop my dog off at a dogsitter’s hidden-in-the-Berkeley-hills home.
+ I hid in the car texting the boy about this impending murder.
+ I forgot to tell him I was fine while I discussed the details of Ziggy’s stay.
+ I stayed up too late packing all my clothes into a tiny suitcase and woke up at 4am to catch a flight to Atlanta

+ After arriving on the east coast, I ate fried chicken and drank sweet tea with every meal.
+ I tried to keep up with a bunch of dudes at a bachelor party.
+ I drank copious amounts of alcohol at said bachelor party and broke bro code by documenting with my iPhone.
+ I got to eat Chick Fil-A when I was hung over.
+ I saw a dolphin show at the Georgia Aquarium where trainers did flips off of dolphin noses.
+ I saw a beluga whale and two types of otters.

+ I went to a wedding with that guy, who did flips in the yard beforehand.

+ I got to spend Easter with my real life family in Florida.
+ We found the most perfect little cardinal nest in my parents’ yard.
+ I drank way too much wine.
+ I got sad when I had to leave 24 hours later.

+ I spent 4 hours in a plane and 5 hours in a car with the boy who decided to bring me on this adventure, and as far as I know, I didn’t scare him away yet.
+ I picked up Ziggy from her babysitter and found this view on the way home.
+ I’m exhausted.

Good night, y’all.

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