One to Nothin'

DIY Glitter Piggy Bank

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I got this fat little piggy bank from Santa Claus many December 25s ago. He was one of those presents that I had no idea I wanted, but it turned out I needed him. I emptied him out once so I could afford my portion of a hotel room in Savannah, GA. I emptied him out again as I saved up for the cross-country road trip that led me to a strange, unemployed place. I emptied him out constantly after I moved and realized all the laundry requires quarters here. And even though he was looking more than a little rough before my last move, I brought him along anyway and the other day it occurred to me that I could give him a *fabulous* makeover–a second chance at coin-holding glory. Naturally he needed glitter and he needed it stat.
First I gathered: white spray paint, gold glitter spray paint, two paint brushes (one large and one small), black acrylic paint and Mod Podge
Then I emptied out Mr. Piggy and washed him with soap and water. After he dried off, I sprayed him white a few times–trying to be patient enough to get an even layer without the awkward drips, but they happened anyway. Once the white paint finally dried, in came the fun part: glitter!

Boom! Glitter pig. Then I sprayed him a few more times to make sure he didn’t have an un-glittery underbelly or something ridiculous like that.
Next came the Mod Podge followed by eyeballs and nostrils in black paint. 

Suddenly the transformation was complete. Mr. Piggy got a makeover and now he looks g-o-o-d.

What do normal people do in their spare time?

Adventures!

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Hey there, friends. This post is brought to you from my disgustingly dirty bedroom. If you were here right now, you might find: an almost empty bag of clean laundry that was never put up, an overflowing bag of dirty clothes that need to be washed, a giant trash bag of clothes I’ve been trying to give away for about a month or two now, a pile of sweat from where I’ve been sitting and working all day in my 80-degree-no-AC-apartment, approximately 15 reusable Safeway bags full of wet god-knows-what from the river (I think I saw soggy Oreos? I definitely saw half a bottle of wine..) and dog hair everyyyyyywhere. I can’t remember the last time I went shopping for things that are not cute disposable cups or clothes for Vegas, and I ate a huge, delicious, 4,576-calorie cupcake that I’m 100% sure was not dairy-free in celebration of my birthday that doesn’t even happen until Saturday.

Life is good, but I’ve been FOMOing too hard to get anything productive done. Last Thursday I went to the Bleachers/Charli XCX show (where BORNS opened!!), Friday I went to dinner in SF to wish my girl Emma the best of luck on her move to SoCal (we’ll miss you!!), Saturday I made everyone raft down the river with me starting at 8am for my early birthday celebration and Sunday I thought about recovering, writing articles that are due, writing blog posts I’ve already photographed, buying eggs, working out but instead I went into the city again to sit in the park drinking wine with Ziggy (where I impulsively bought Outside Lands tickets). I woke up with a fresh crop of pimples on my face and I’ve got some ridiculous shin bruises from jumping off cliffs (maybe?). But that’s fine because it’s not like I have to be naked for five days straight in VEGAS in two weeks–jk, that’s exactly what I’m doing!

WOO HOO; I’M GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS.

If you never see me again after August, now you know why. But at least I’m not moving and job-searching at the same time this year.

Cheers to summer and being on the closer-to-30-end-of-my-20s and not having to carry boxes anywhere and excessive exclamation marks!

My Dog’s A Panty-Eater

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Me and Ziggy on Sunday.
Me and Ziggy in 2010.

My dog is five and a half years old. For the first year or two of her life she ate more pairs of my underwear than I even knew how to deal with. Seriously. Her poop looked like the 5 for $25 bin at Victoria’s Secret. I would get so mad and it was one of the only things that made me excited for her to grow into a normal, adult dog instead of staying the most precious puppy in the entire universe.

She did grow up. She grew into a decent sized sausage dog who could run, play and stopped eating my skivvies. Or so I thought. A few months ago I noticed a pair of my undies in the middle of the floor. I forgot I even had this pair, had never worn them before and when I picked them up they were wet (okay, get your mind out of the gutter). That’s when I started to think maybe she had toned down her panty obsession from chewing them up to just slobbering on them a bit, but I quickly forgot about the incident and continued to toss my dirty laundry across the floor on the daily.

A couple other times I noticed a pair here or there in a spot I didn’t think I threw them, but then again who ever really knows? It was always suspiciously when I left her inside by herself for longer than she deemed fit, but perhaps it was just a coincidence.

BUT last night my hypotheses were confirmed: she eats my undies when she’s pissed.

I was gone the whole day at work, and immediately upon coming home I left again for a concert. I was gone until 11:30ish and she was not happy. So she chewed through one pair of my underwear and left it in the middle of the floor. Just as an extra, “Eff you, ma.” She didn’t even rip apart the straps like she used to, just ripped a hole and left them where I’d see them as soon as I walked into my room.

Rude.

And that’s the story of how my sausage dog grew up to be just like her mama. The stubborn, codependent part, not the eating undies part. Ew.

Happy Friday!

Weekend Things

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My weekend was, in a word, legit. Too legit, if you will. Friday night I talked the boy into going to a burlesque show with me. Needless to say, the photos taken were not blog-appropriate. Let’s just say there were tassels and gender-bending hardhat routines involved. Saturday I ate a breakfast biscuit the size of my head, went garage sale shopping and enjoyed Burning Man art installations at the Berkeley Spark Festival. I spent the rest of the night prepping for a last-minute picnic at Lake Temescal— if you live in the East Bay, you should definitely check out this cute little spot. Lots of details from this soiree to come to the blog soon, but for now please enjoy the evolution of my baking excursions. Cupcakes, meet California heat. California heat, that cake didn’t need an ‘S’ anyway. With a wine buzz in tow, I even went to see “Trainwreck” Sunday night, complete with the fire alarm sounding halfway through the movie. Yay summertime!

How was your weekend?

5 Albums You Should Listen To This Summer

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Does anyone else feel like summer is kind of a let down when you get older? As a kid I would get tingles in my toes just thinking about the last day of school. I would break out into full song and dance Maxamilian-style. “After Today” was (and always will be) my summer jam, but now what happens? We don’t wear as many layers (except that I do because SF is weird) and instead of eating popsicles in the sunshine while playing in the sprinkler, we drink luke warm coffee in a freezing office while the computer sucks our souls out through the screen. That got dark quickly. Obviously summer weekends are still amazing (see above). And if you’re a teacher, well, you win at summer, period. But for those of us who are feelin’ a little Lana Del Rey-ish about it, here are some new tunes you should crank up on Spotify this summer.

1. Nate Ruess Grand Romantic
Bet you didn’t see that one coming! I know, I know. I’m obsessed with all things Nate– The Format, Fun., The Bleachers (seeing them in a couple weeks!) and I may or may not be rocking Fun. merch in an upcoming style post.. but I digress. This album makes me so happy. There are way more ’80s pop sounds than I ever could have imagined, but the first half of the album feels just like the old days. The second half gets a little ballad-y/lovey/gushy/gross but then again I’m probably just jealous because who does Charlotte Ronson think she is? #Yoko “AhHa” and “Harsh Light” are my favorites.

2. Jenny Lewis The Voyager
This one came out in 2014, but it’s pretty rad. It’s got an old-school sound to it and even though Rilo Kiley will always have my heart, I’m so happy Jenny Lewis is still making music–and still rocking a Girl Scout uniform, for that matter. She covers those topics us ladies think about, like biological clocks and rainbow pant suits. “Slippery Slope” is one of my favorites.
3. Twenty One Pilots Blurry Face
I’ve been a fan of Twenty One Pilots for quite a while. Back in the day I accidentally missed them as I drank rum and played corn hole in the parking lot while they opened at The Big Ticket concert in Jacksonville. I’ve regretted it ever since, but redemption is coming! Anyway, this album is a great addition to their growing discography. I can honestly just listen to all of their albums all the way through without stopping, but I’m kind of a sucker for white boy rap sooo.. “Tear In My Heart” is my fave. Obviously.

4. Brandon Flowers The Desired Effect
I’m sensing a theme here: beautiful singers breaking away from their bands to create quality solo summer albums with a throwback feel to them. But here’s the thing, as much as I loooove The Killers and want to have Flowers babies, I haven’t always liked his solo stuff. This one is good though. Like, real good. Favorite song: “I Can Change.”

5. Aer Aer
These guys make quintessential summer music. They’re like the goofy dudes you just want to party in Long Beach with. The whole album is made for beach day drinking and windows-down cruisin’. Favorites: “Says She Loves Me” and “Pretty Lady” Oh, and bonus: here’s a single that just came out and looks like a new album is being released August 14.

What are you listening to this summer?

Check out the playlist with all the albums below or here.
 

Weekend Project: Chalkboard Kitchen Jars

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The other day I decided that since this baking habit of mine doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, I should make my supplies pretty. There is a fundamental flaw in the baking soda box’s structure and flour bags are the silliest creations, so I figured jars were as good a place to start as any. This year will be the first one in the last three where I won’t be packing up and moving out on my birthday, so I figured I’d spruce up the kitchen if I’ll be baking in it for another year. Off to Michael’s I went.

To recreate these chalkboard paint jars, you’ll need: several jars of varied sizes, painter’s tape (I used masking tape, but I wouldn’t recommend it), alcohol pads, scissors, chalkboard paint, Mod Podge, paint brush/sponge and chalk.
First wipe off finger prints and any residue with the alcohol swab and tape off your label section. My trusty assistant and I eyeballed it, but you could measure it out if you’re personality starts with an A. Mine starts with a big fat B.
Paint your labels on with the chalkboard paint, first vertically then after about 20 minutes paint another coat horizontally. I probably should’ve used chalkboard paint made for glass or a primer of some sort, but I didn’t. I improvised. When I went to (very carefully) remove the tape, the edges were far from perfectly straight, so I went back and filled in the edges a bit with more paint. Once they were completely dry, I scribbled all over the surfaces with chalk and wiped them off with a wet paper towel. Next I went over the edges with a thin line of Mod Podge in hopes of keeping the paint from peeling off any more.

Finally I labeled the jars with chalk and filled them with sugar, flour, baking soda, quinoa and flaxseed meal–just to be fancy.
I’m pretty pumped about them. My countertop looks so much more sophisticated now! Who wants to come bake with me?

Weekend Things

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These photos are not in order. Well, they are in order of pretty but not in the order of chronology. Let’s talk about the pros and cons of this weekend, shall we?

Pros:
I had a delicious dinner with the lovely Bex.
I ate beef bone marrow for the first time.
I had a surprise adventure starting at 6:30am on Saturday.
After an hour of driving I found myself in Tomales Bay for kayaking!
I didn’t get sunburned.
I got to eat amazzzzzing oysters afterward.
My cactus bloomed!!
I got a gel manicure for the first time on Friday and it still hasn’t chipped (record!).
I went to a Giants game.
Ziggy got her box from Chewy and was OBSESSED with her knuckle chew.
I started about five different projects on Sunday that I’ll be sharing soon.

Cons:
Turns out bone marrow has a lot of fat, so it ended up all over my face.
Chad’s (oh hey, that’s that dude up there’s name. Blog, meet Chad. Chad, meet blog.) car window got smashed and the perp stole all of our kayaking snacks (pro?: they didn’t bother taking any of the non-perishable aka valuable stuff in the car..)
Ziggy ate the entire knuckle in 24 hours and pooped out dust for 48.
I took way too many selfies.
I was shower-floor-hungover after said Giants game.
I still can’t feel the tip of my toe.
Okay, I can’t think of any more.

Overall my weekend wins. That window was a doozy though. How was your weekend?

Thoughts on Thoughts!

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You guys. 

Your response to this post made me so incredibly stoked. 
You’re still here! 
You still like to read and write about beautiful, crazy, complicated, imperfect life! 
We’re in this together. We want to share, relate and be a community.
We like authenticity. We like fashion and crafts and recipes; but mostly we like real.
A lot of us don’t like sponsored posts; I get it. 
How can you be real if you’re getting paid to say something?
BUT.
No matter how much you love your hypothetical part-time job, it wouldn’t be feasible for you to do it for hours and hours each day if you never got compensated for it. 
Unless you’re an heiress. Or you have a generous and well off sig-othe who fully supports your weird unpaid part-time job. I am neither of these things.
But I love writing. 
That’s why I studied it and spent way too many hours hunting for a job semi-related to it in the years since graduation. That’s why I started this blog. I wanted to write and I didn’t know how else to do that.
Somewhere along the way I found writing gigs that paid me. 
They’re out there, but they’re hard to find. And to keep once attained, for that matter. 
Then, once you find it and keep it, you write what someone else tells you to. You’re getting paid because you’re fulfilling a need for someone else.
Blogs are different.
I can come here and write whatever I want whenever I want. That’s why I keep doing it. It’s time-consuming and a lot of times happy hour trumps getting a post up in time for peak viewage (ahem, one too many might be why this post is a day late), but it’s the best thing in the world.
Words. Freedom. America. What?
The things that I write because I need to pay rent, feed my sausage dog, buy #ootds that don’t have holes in them and eat all the food the Bay Area has to offer, are not necessarily the most fun projects because they’re work. Blogging doesn’t feel like work, so I fully support bloggers who get paid to do just that. Getting to write what you want 98% of the time and then every once in a while writing something that you have the majority of creative control over while getting paid just sounds awesome. 
Once the ratio shifts, however, things get tricky. Striking a balance is hard. So is paying your bills. And making a living being creative in general.
It’s kind of like those perfume ads in magazines that are trying to sell you a scent, but also they’re just gorgeous photos of women floating in ribbons of silky alien material with floating crystals and glitter wind.
If glitter wind isn’t your thing, you turn the page.
Or you don’t click on the link.
But if it’s a magazine that has an ad on every other page, I’m not going to buy it. 
I’ll still sniff the perfume samples though. And maybe rub them on my wrists.
Anyway, chances are you’ve seen a sponsored post or two around these parts. I had a blast writing them, and I’m sure I’ll be writing more of them at some point.
Hopefully it won’t be the end of us. 
Cuz.. I kinda like you.

Real talk: Who still blogs?

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Does anyone blog anymore?

I know the actual answer to that and it’s yes. My whole job depends on it (no, I don’t blog for a living; LOL, good one), but it’s a different world out there. I know I’m just a bratty baby that’s forgotten what it was like to be Jenny from the block. All these rocks that I got got you fooled?

But really.

There was a time in a swampy land back in yonder year where I wrote in this little box five or more times a week. Back when I didn’t know about big fancy bloggers with c/o errythang and I clicked the “next blog” button at the top of Blogger.com in hopes of finding someone who also updated more than once every few months for a year back when their college professor assigned them a blogging project.


Back when I wanted an iPhone so bad just because Instagram wasn’t available yet on my Droid and I could not wait to get that Hefe filter in and around my face.

Back when all my bloggy friends still wrote, commented, participated in linkups and lol’d at gifs with me on the reg.

Back when I’d run every day and have no one to cry to when I fell on my face, so I’d blog about it instead.

Back when I still entered giveaways and thought I might actually win.

Back when I couldn’t wait to get home so I could use my fancy work-issued DSLR to shoot vegan Almond Joys or Douchey Song Lyrics.

Back when some of those big guys didn’t have sponsors or more than 100 readers yet (now they’re all 25k’in it up on Instagram).

But now? Now I’m out of the loop. Most of my peers got busy, moved on, switched directions or lost touch. The ones that are still around post as infrequently as I do, and I haven’t exactly been a loyal reader, engager, lover of words myself.

I’m uninspired and I take my now-owned DSLR camera, tripod and willing-to-take-OOTDs-for-me boyfriend for granted. You’d think they’d make it easier to pump out content and yet here I am, taking less What I Wore Wednesday posts now than when I used a point-and-shoot perched atop an iced tea pitcher and rolly chair.

What’s going on here? Have I lost the passion? Am I trying to be something I’m not and therefore no longer interested/interesting? Is no one reading? Am I boring the living poop out of the few people still silently peeking in the shadows? Or are you all from–gasp–a quick and dirty Google search and you’ll run out before breakfast?

I want to bring back that fire, guys. I want to ignite the flame in your Internet loins. Shoot, forget your loins, I want my own bloggy loins to be on fire.

Fact: I just Googled ‘loin’ and I’m particularly fond of this definition: a large cut of meat that includes the vertebrae of the loins.

Anyway, I think what I’m trying to say is I want to write more and think less. 

I’d love to be pointed in the direction of other bloggers out there doing that as well.

Tell me, which blog URLs do you still type into your address bar every day? Which ones do you feel a little more disappointed than you should when their content is a day or two old? What makes you excited to procrastinate a bit and why? 

Let’s talk about this. I’m not ready for it to be over. It’s not you, it’s me.

Weekend Things

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This weekend was kind of a mess. Nothing really went according to *non-existant* plan (aka I might have accidentally locked my boyfriend out of his apartment for a few hours..), but I saw lots of friends, ate lots of brunch/hotdogs/garlic fries, watched foggy fireworks in Berkeley and somehow managed to be less hungover than that guy up there the whole time, so I’d call that a win. I also cleaned, organized, laundered, crafted and even washed the sausage dog–ya know, fun old people stuff.

How was your weekend?

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