One to Nothin'

Dairy-Free Orange Bundt Cake

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Dairy Free Orange Bundt Cake Recipe
IT’S FRIDAY, Y’ALL! Know what that means? It means it’s time to bake an orange bundt cake. Obvs.
Dairy Free Orange Bundt Cake Recipe
If you have an actual bundt cake pan, it might make more sense to use it.. but as it is, I have a normal cake pan with a hole in the middle. Thanks a lot, IKEA. Anyway, this cake (adapted from this recipe) is pretty tasty but only for like 48 hours max, so be prepared to devour the whole damn thing. 
Dairy Free Orange Bundt Cake Recipe
Here’s what you need:
1 cup Earth Balance butter
Cooking oil for lubin’ up the bundt (I had to, I’m sorry)
1 cup white sugar
3 eggs
2 oranges (ends cut off and seeded)
1 cup white flour
1 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
*For icing*
1 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespooons fresh orange juice
Sprinkles (not optional)
Dairy Free Orange Bundt Cake Recipe

Method:
Preheat oven to 325 degrees, prepare pan, cut oranges into chunks and grind up in a food processor or blender (if you hate the idea of bitter chunks in your cake, take the rind off first, but I was into it). Use a mixer to combine softened butter, sugar and then eggs. Add orange concoction, then salt, flour, baking soda and powder until smooth. Pour into pan and bake for 55 minutes. Meanwhile mix powdered sugar and orange juice together to create icing (to make the cake last longer, only pour icing on the bits you’re about to eat), wait until cake is cooled to pour on icing and, of course, sprinkles.

Boom, orange cake. Enjoy your weekend, beautiful people.

Have you ever had orange cake? Did it have a weird hole in the middle?

Post Travel Blues + What I Wore

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The comedown from a traveling high is no joke. I’ve been struggling. Solipsistic, yes, but I like to keep it real around here, and I got a little too comfortable with the freedom, excitement and adventure that came along with traveling for pretty much all of January.
Dress c/o Tobi / Boots: Jeffrey Campbell (they run small) / Hat: T+C
I ate, drank and went wherever I wanted to for almost an entire month. I saw new things, was scared a fair amount and felt the adrenaline I’d been missing. I didn’t keep up with the comfort of my workout routine while on the road and my sugar consumption was enough to sully everything from my digestive system to my severely broken out skin.
As a result, I came back feeling bored, sad and sorry for myself. I know that’s not fair. I was fortunate to have had those experiences. Skiing in Colorado, bar hopping in Chicago, lobster rolls in Boston, the ER in NYC; so much excitement in a short period of time followed by the aftereffects of poor decision making. I stared at my blotchy skin, the bags under my eyes, the extra padding around my belly and the long stretch ahead without time away from a desk and felt down.

Post Travel Depression Disorder? Is that a thing? If so, I had it and I finally decided it was time to do something about it (aside from Googling how to become a professional travel blogger, that is).
I did some reflecting and decided the first step was to get the workout routine back on track. I’m still using ClassPass, but I’m starting to get bored as the time constraints of a 9-5 (+40 minute commute) limit the classes available to me each day so I’ve been considering other options (like training for a marathon, for example). This month, however, I’ll continue with morning CP workouts and strive to be as consistent as possible. This week so far I’m three for three.
Next I’m cleaning up the diet. Once upon a time, I ate an almost entirely Paleo diet, but these days I haven’t had a problem with slurping down sodas and letting all the bad habits I got rid of back here come right back to me. Long story short, I’m doing another Whole30. My third Paleo cleanse, and I plan to document it extensively so I can come back here and help any of you who might want to follow in my footsteps.

Side note:  if you’re interested in participating in it with me in real-time, comment below or email me – mackensieg@gmail.com! Let’s do this together. I have a tentative start date of Monday, 2/22 or Tuesday, 3/1. Any thoughts? If you’re intrigued but have no clue what I’m talking about, read about the program here and check out this article I wrote about it back in the day.
Lastly, I’m working on a project. It’s going to be a large undertaking, but the more I think, talk and obsessively jot down notes about it, the more I think it has to happen. I’m not going to give away too many details just yet, but I think having a big, creative project in the works is another way to keep my brain occupied, challenged and pumping endorphins through me.
It’s time to shake this PTDD once and for all… so I can plan my next trip.
Oh, and how rad is this dress from Tobi? The wonderful team over there sent me several pieces that I’ll be styling throughout the month and I can’t wait to show them to you. I seriously love that store.


Have you ever experience post-travel let down? How did you deal?

The one about the douchebag cashier at Target

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Since Valentine’s Day came and went, and I don’t have any photos that are particularly exciting to chat about from the occasion, I thought I’d tell you guys an awkward story. Ready?


Let me set the scene: It’s my anniversary, sort of (there’s been a bit of debate over what day should be the date, so we settled on the day we met.. even if it wasn’t the, uh, most romantic.. anywho..), so I’m all excited about this secret trip I’m planning. 

On my lunch break I went to Target because where else would I go for road trip snacks and last-minute surprise necessities? I thought I was going in for beef jerky and Oreos, but somewhere along the way I got distracted, which is so weird because that’s literally never happened to me or any of my friends before.


Next thing I know I found myself searching for undies, which were not exclusively for the occasion since my dog just so happens to eat all my panties anyway, and then I headed for the card aisle.


This is where things got weird.


All the anniversary cards were covered in watercolor lilies or glitter hearts and contained sentiments like, “Dear husband, I love you because you’re my everything and I’d die without you.” Or, “Hey sexy life partner of mine, can’t wait to wake up next to you for the next 20 years!”


This is the one extreme that Hallmark thinks men like, and the other is, “Look at this singing stripper shaking her butt! HAHA!” and “GOLF! BEER! POWER TOOLS! *nailed it*”


While these types of cards might scream, “INTIMACY” or “HILARITY” to you, they make me want to barf. Not only am I not married, but I can’t even decide on a real anniversary because modern dating norms make new relationships weird. (And no, I’m not implying that we met on Tinder because we didn’t.)


Usually I make my own cards because it’s cheaper and more fun anyway, but I knew I wouldn’t have time, so I kept searching, hoping that one would pop out at me and be the perfect mix of funny, sweet and raunchy.


Finally I settled on a simple and subtle number that read, “Dat Ass” on the front because I am an adult. Then I sauntered around the store some more collecting unneeded chapstick and La Croix until it was time to check out.


I don’t usually think too much about which check out line to get into despite my slight aversion to interacting with humans, so I picked the shortest line and went for it. The checkout boy was a heavy set young dude with acne and an obvious knack for talking to customers too long, even when they’re uncomfortable. I listened to him babble on about how outrageous the price of Legos are and continued to let my brain be fueled by the endorphins that come along with planning a surprise for someone.


The line built up behind me, and he started to scan my array of items as I became aware of the situation I put myself in. Awkward man-boy who talks too much.. a bunch of snacks.. underwear…


But as I started to shun myself for the panic building in my chest, he picked up the card and held it far too high above his head and exclaimed, far too exaggeratedly:


“REAAAAALLY..??”


My jaw dropped. Not only was he holding up the entire line to embarrass me, but now he was also showcasing my “Dat Ass” card to the entire line of moms Christmas shopping behind me.


“Are you seriously judging me right now?! Don’t they teach you NOT to do that at Target school?” I asked, my face bright red.


“They don’t teach you not to have human decency,” he mumbled as he finally removed the offending item from the air and placed it into a bag.


I stood there with the meanest stare I could muster and continued on in very uncomfortable silence as he fumbled with my red silk bra and panty set.


Then he gets to the beef jerky.


“See, it’s also human decency that keeps me from putting beef jerky in the same bag as your underwear,” he says, clearly pleased with his cunning wit.


“WHATEVER,” I said, pissed and feeling the awkward vibes fuming off the yoga pants clad crew in line behind me.


After what felt like 534 minutes, he finished scanning my stuff, my anger fully formed, and he told me to have a good day. 

I grabbed my bags and gave him the bitchiest look possible while thinking loudly, “I’ll be damned if I’m gonna say ‘thank you!’”

I spent the next three to four hours berating myself for not telling him where he could shove that card, and the endorphins finally returned as I sat in the car directing the boy to our mystery location, chomping down on beef jerky and Oreos.

Moral of the story? If you embarrass me in public, I’ll give you dirty looks, I will NOT say ‘thank you,’ and I will eventually write about you on my blog.

THE END.

50 Thoughts Ladies Have During a 50-Minute Spin Class

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I’ve seen quite a few bloggers glorify spin class in my day. They romanticize the experience for all their followers, comparing it to a meditative, religious kind of experience. One that changes their lives and makes them better lovers. 

Well, I’m here to get real with you guys. It’s easy to look back on any exercise experience with heart-eyed emojis because hello, endorphins! But they’re just Hocus Pocus’ing you. They release in your brain and make you forget all about the 50 minutes of agony you just suffered through, so I did what any decent friend would do: I typed out all the REAL thoughts in my notes app before the endorphins had a chance to put a spell on me. I apologize in advance for all the vagina references, but I’m just keepin’ it real. Here they are..

50 Thoughts Ladies Have During a 50-Minute Spin Class

1. Does anyone else’s vagina hurt?
2. How have I never even heard of this song?
3. Seriously, I know a lot of songs.
4. Keep your head still – she said no bobbing.
5. Okay, there’s a mirror right there. The whole class can see your head bobbing.
6. I’m a damn bobblehead!
7. Ehh.. everyone else is bobbing too. WTF is she talking about?
8. She just asked what I’d do if this was my last day on earth..
9. You can bet your ass I’d jump off this stationary bike.
10. Maybe I should do it anyway to prove a point.
11. There’s a bar next door.
12. Oooh, pina coladas!
13. Who gets pumped to Leona Lewis?!
14. Oh no, now we’re dancing.
15. How did I take dance classes for eight years without a single person informing me that I have no rhythm?
16. Okay, but how am I supposed to crunch and spin 1-2-1-2 at the same time?
17. YOU’RE NOT HELPING.
18. I’m literally spinning half as fast as the rest of this class right now.
19. Ouchhhhh my vag is going to fall off.
20. This bitch said this is her second class in a row…
21. I should ask her if she has a cyborg crotch.
22. Tap whats?
23. Class is almost over, right?
24. OMG. How has it only been 15 minutes?
25. There’s something inexplicably irritating about instructors repeating song lyrics to you during the song.
26. We heard it. It wasn’t good the first time.
27. Why didn’t I bring a towel?
28. Everyone else brought a towel.
29. You got this, just keep swimming.
30. I’m going to eat so much when I get out of here.
31. Pretty sure these clocks are broken.
32. Just play a song that doesn’t suck!!
33. I wonder if anyone would notice if I ordered Seamless right now…
34. She told us to close our eyes.
35. It’s dark AF in here.
36. When she says we can “leave the room,” she doesn’t mean…?
37. No one actually left.
38. She’s just toying with our emotions.
39. 10 minutes left.
40. No big, I can do anything for 10 minutes.
41. EFF THIS HILL.
42. HOW ARE THERE STILL 8 MINUTES LEFT?
43. I can’t do anything for 10 minutes.
44. Tension off, mothatruckassss.
45. Oh, yea. Look how fast I spin now!
46. How you like me now?
47. Streeeeeetch.
48. That was refreshing.
49. I guess.
50. FOOD!

*An hour later*

Are you with me on this?

I confess..

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This cute cluster of ladybugs was found on a hike at Redwood Regional Park, and it blew my mind. If you find yourself in the East Bay in the next few weeks, go and tell the ladybugs I said hello!

And now for confessions:

+I got blood drawn on Monday, and for the first time ever I didn’t pass out! WIN!

+But the nurse did not allow me to take off my jeans, boots or giant sweater before stepping on the scale.. woof.

+My neck is still sore from landing on my head while trying to ski in Tahoe.

+I just discovered audio books. Well, my mom has loved them for years, but I listened to “Yes, Please” written and read by Amy Poehler and it was, in a word, amaze-balls. I finished it in < a week.

+I also finished reading “Attachments” in about a week. Rainbow Rowell has my heart, especially because she creates Spotify playlists for all her characters..

+I can’t stop watching the show “About A Boy” on Netflix. David Walton is the cutest.

+I got a PINCHme package in the mail, which never happens because I’m lazy, and I finally shaved my legs after about a week (because again, lazy) so my legs were itchy. I grabbed the lotion that came in the box and lathered it all over before realizing it was actually body wash and made my legs 10x more itchy. The boyf got a kick out of that one.

+Tonight (around 7pm PT) I’m hosting a giveaway for $200 to Sephora, Forever21 or Victoria’s Secret on Instagram. I’m nervous because I’ve never done an IG giveaway, so go enter here, please!

Now go link up your confessions with Sarah!

Skiing in Tahoe

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This weekend I found myself on top of a mountain again. Not only did I cross, “second ever skiing experience,” off the old life list, but I also crossed off, “sweat your arse off in snow pants,” as well. I went to Tahoe to celebrate the boyfriend’s dirty 30, and it was 50 degrees and sunny despite the snow all over the place. I actually made it down the slope twice in a row without falling, and then accidentally went the wrong way, which led me to a blue instead of green path. Cue a minor case of whiplash after landing directly onto my helmet-clad head. One more tumble after that and I was donezo. But still! Two whole runs without a fall. That’s a win in my book.

You know what else is a win? Staying in an Airbnb that has an attic that doubles as a rock climbing gym. The house was rad – which you already know if you follow along on Snapchat (@marymackensie) – and my dog REALLY wanted to go up into the attic by way of a legit ladder, which was also documented on Snapchattaroo. Besides that, I fell asleep before 10pm for the past three nights. Woops. You’d think I was the one who just passed into my third decade..

How was your weekend?

Lactose-Free Valentine’s Day Brownies

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Lactose-Free Brownie Recipe

 Valentine’s Day is the perfect occasion for brownies, right? Right?!

Lactose-Free Brownie Recipe for Valentine

Okay, so I decorated my apartment with some lovey dovey type things because, duh, it’s February (and apparently it’s a leap year? Anyone else confused about that whole thing?). I also coincidentally started craving brownies — apparently my body just can’t get enough sugar coursing through it these days.

Lactose-Free Brownie Recipe

So after a quick assessment of the cabinets, I determined I had the supplies necessary for lactose-free walnut/chocolate chip ooey-gooey brownies, so I got to work.
Fun fact: Nesquik looks a lot like cocoa powder when you’re dancing around the kitchen singing at the top of your lungs while baking, so.. be careful. Mine ended up with an extra ¼ cup chocolate flavored sugar.

Lactose-Free Brownie Recipe for Valentine

Upon completion, I set my masterpieces up by the kitchen window (my preferred photography spot, in case you were wondering) and that also happened to be where the leftover v-day decorations were hanging out. So that’s the thrilling story of how my normal boring brownies became passionate, love-filled Valentine’s Day brownies.

Lactose-Free Brownie Recipe for Valentine

Aren’t you glad I taught you this valuable lesson on turning your random cravings into timely and relevant blog posts? The recipe adapted from here is below.

Ingredients:
4 eggs
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 1/4 cups cocoa powder (not Nesquik..)
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 cup flour
8 oz Earth Balance vegan butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
Broken up walnut pieces
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (check ingredients to ensure they don’t contain milk)

Method:
Preheat oven to 300 degrees and prep brownie pan by coating with butter and dusting with flour.
First beat eggs, then add sugar, then add everything except chocolate chips and walnut pieces. Once the lumps are gone, add half the chocolate chips and transfer to prepared pan. Sprinkle the walnut pieces and remaining chocolate chips on top and bake for 45 minutes. Let cool and surround them with glittery hearts to pass them off as Valentine’s Day brownies.

Oh, and since it’s Friday, here’s some reading material for you — although unlike my normal link roundups, I wrote all these. Enjoy, and feel free to share them all over the Internetz because I need validation. Kthxbai!

10 Snapchatters With the Inside Scoop on NYFW for Mode

15 Atypical Songs For An Atypical Yoga Flow for Bad Yogi

That Blog Hustle: The Hardest Working Blog-Preneurs for Mode

10 Shots to Master for Insta-Fame for Mode

13 Raunchy Movies for Girls’ Night In (NSFW) for The Talko

Happy Friday, friends!

PS: OMG I FORGOT TO TELL YOU: Brand New released a 2006 demo album and I feel like I’m 16 again. It’s glorious. Listen here. 

Faux Leather & Florals

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   You know how sometimes you buy an article of clothing even though you feel kind of ‘meh’ about it? Okay, maybe it’s a weird thing to do, but more often than not it’s the piece I wasn’t expecting to love that takes me by surprise, so I take chances when online shopping.

When I opened the package containing these boots, I did not think they’d get any play and now they’re scuffed to hell because I can’t stop wearing them.

It’s kind of like that awful adage about dating someone who isn’t your “type” and next thing you know you’re posting those obnoxious “OMGIGETTOMARRYMYBESTFRIEND” announcements on Facebook.

Side note: does anyone else secretly wish that one of the more unstable acquaintances still linked to you through the FB connection will get turned down and publish a “She said no :(“ post?

Next time someone asks me why I’m not married, I’ll kindly direct them to this blog.

Anyway, that’s how I felt about this shirt. I ordered it from Stitch Fix back when I was working for them (so I can’t even try to sell it to you – figures) because I thought the back was cool, but I was convinced I’d be over the floral print in no time. I was so wrong. This is my go-to for the bars.

It’s all kinds of versatile because when tucked into a formal pencil skirt and heels, it’s office-appropriate and when paired with distressed black denim, a leather jacket and a sexy AF statement necklace, it’s rock’n roll time.

*And now for a hair tossing interlude*

From there all you need is a cinderblock wall and the few minutes right before the sun sets and you’re golden.

Oh, and if you want one of these badass necklaces too, use the code ‘mackensieg’ to get 20% anything on the Mirina site.

Do you ever go into a purchase thinking it’s boring and come out with a new fave?

Linking up here.

Boston Adventures

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The second half of last week was spent in THE coolest hotel of all time on the water in Boston. The Envoy has a badass rooftop bar open during the summer, but even though it was closed, I was smitten with the interior decorating of the hotel itself. There was a half-bicycle for a TV stand, a leather recliner, a sliding glass map door that served as decoration and as a door to the shower — which was like natural rain sprinkling on me in paradise. The room service food was phenomenal – I got a bacon and onion flatbread with goat cheese – the TV streamed Hulu, Netflix, HBO Go, etc. and the in-room snacks (although crazy expensive) were all those organic, healthy, local, hippie snacks that you know I love. I almost didn’t want to leave the hotel, but when I did I discovered some incredible food and friendly people. Here are the spots I hit:

Drink – This trendy speakeasy-type bar is super rad. You have to walk down into a basement to get to it, and there ironically aren’t any drinks on the menu, just appetizers. The servers walk up and get a feel for what you like. I told our server I was into Moscow mules and he came back with a bourbon concoction with tons of fresh ginger. It was delicious — strong, but delicious. It has a cool ambience and would be perfect for a date since it isn’t too rowdy.

James Hook & Co – Come here for the lobster rolls and ridiculously nice folks running this small but mighty establishment. The lobsters themselves are swimming around in the tank as you walk in. Is that creepy or awesome? I can’t decide, but either way check this place out.

Giacomo’s – There might just be a full-on crazytown line at this spot because it’s a tiny authentic Italian restaurant in the North End, but it’s so worth it. I got the frutti de mar and my lovely local friend got the lobster ravioli. They were both so, so freakin’ good. Afterward go to the bakery next door for fancy cannoli.

Flour Cafe – This cute little cafe has huge and decadent sticky buns in addition to normal breakfast sandwiches, lattes, baked goods, etc. I got the sticky bun though, and I do it again.

Faneuil Hall Marketplace – I walked around historic Faneuil Hall Marketplace to get out of the cold, and I found a Cheers-themed restaurant and gift shop, tons of lobster-themed gifts, Boston baked beans and a billion food vendors. There are also tons of places to shop around here, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Have you been to Boston? Where did you eat?

NYC Adventures

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I spent the first half of last week in New York City, and since it was only my second ever visit (first documented here), I had lots of exploring to do. The highlights included lots of wine with Alyssa (I’m obsessed with her, guys. Go read her blog and make her your friend because she’s just as amazing IRL as she is in her writing), noodles at Totto Ramen, a fancy latte at Bibble & Sip, Beatles songs (performed by a curmudgeon) at Strawberry Fields in Central Park, a burger at Shake Shack and quality time spent with a college bestie (although the night took a turn for the tragic – perhaps I’ll elaborate later). 
New York City really is a magical place. I was really sad to leave after finding all those colorful books sprawled across tables set up in Central Park. I went straight to Boston Wednesday afternoon for round two (see round one here), but I’ll save that for the next post so I can tell you all about the fun things I did (and by that I mean, amazing food I ate) while there.
I thought 2016 would start out with healthy habits and getting back into a routine, and it’s been the exact opposite. I’m tired but I’m certainly not mad about it because I’m convinced more than ever that traveling is THE coolest thing anyone could ever do and I’ll take an extra 5 lbs with a side of life experiences any day. 
How was your first month of 2016?

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