Friday’s Letters

Dear Britni, Happy birthday to the middle sister! Thanks for always being there for me and everyone else in this family. Here are some of the things you have taught me throughout the years:

Be tough. If someone comes up and tries to crush your imaginary friend that fits inside your palms, say you put him down already. If someone steals your cockatiel (named Furbie), “She gave him to me!” is a perfectly good reason for why. If boys are being dumb, throw acorns at them.. hard.

Be sad. If a boy dumps you, watch “Get Over It,” “Drive Me Crazy” and “Goofy Movie” while eating Skittles, Pringles and drinking cheap, slushee wine (or if you’re in middle school, root beer floats). If you need to cry, call your sister — she’ll listen and eventually she’ll make you laugh instead.

Be silly. If you see someone with a big bun on her head, slap it around and yell “FLUFFY HEAD!” When you’re in college, it’s perfectly acceptable to punish bad behavior (i.e. skipping class) by making the offender buy you the next bottle of libations. Also, 5-year-olds flicking off old ladies is hilarious.. always.

Be a wingman. Self-explanatory. Sisters = best wing(wo)men.

Spill it. If your sister says “We should go out to dinner!” it really means, “I’ve got some juicy gossip/news to tell you!” or.. “I NEED SUSHI NOW!!!”

Be supportive. This chick went all the way to Seattle with me and cheered me on/took pictures/met me at the finish line of my half marathon. How awesome is that?

Sharing is caring. Okay, we haven’t always been good at that, but nail polish, face masks and Cosmo/People mags are always share-worthy.

Be patient. Just because your sister decides to pants you in front of your guy friends when you’re 12 doesn’t mean you won’t be best friends when you’re 23.

Listen. Your sister (okay, well, my sister) has awesome taste. If she says listen to a new band, check out a funny website or tv show, you do it. No questions asked.

Sing. Loudly. It’s therapeutic.

Party. If it’s your sister’s birthday, you throw caution to the wind and go drink-for-drink regardless of diets, work the next day, etc. end of story.